Father... I need You to be close to me right now. In Your Word it says that sometimes You hide yourself, but I don't understand why You would do so in a time such as this. Don't you see my friends putting guns to their heads, pills in their mouths, knives in their chests, driving drunk... how can You not see that!? Don't you see the tears streaming down my face, once from sorrow, now turned into heart-wrenching pain?! I love You, and will follow You regardless, Lord, but I need YOUR strength right now. I need YOUR words, YOUR guidance. Teach me to love You like I should, teach me to have faith in You like I should, teach me to walk through the valleys of life with a humble, faithful heart. Please be near to me, O Lord. But more importantly, be close to those who are in pain, those who are riding the fence, those who don't know You. Please. Shine through me, Father. Please don't let them see me, let them see You and Your love. Let Your love and mercy overflow from deep within me onto the life of someone else. Father, my heart hurts. My mind hurts. My life hurts. My back's pressed against this wall, so cold it's starting to burn. I'm becoming numb, and that scares me. I don't want to be numb. Father, I ask You to please just open my heart and touch me in the places I'm hidden so desperately, in hopes to cover my shame. Please, move me. Please, break me. Pour me out. Start again. Please, help me to press on, regardless. I know when I see You, Lord, face to face, it'll be worth it all. But until then, be my strength, be my deliverer, and save me from this life. Thy will be done, in Christ' name, Amen.