yeah.. my life is kinda sucking right now. i have the worse finals schedule ever wed- multicultural and history thurs- spanish and math friday-just chem and an hour of study monday- english and study hall ok.. so yeah.. i do have an easy one or two in there... but for the most part, i have my hardest finals in one big CHUNK! (history, math, chem, and spanish is iffy) it just.... sucks and then, to top things off, i have realized i have no close friends anymore. not really. andrea has other things on her mine and has a life based on a totally different belief system. amy and kasey are both too... bubble-ly and busy. emily is chummy with sarah j. everyone else i could turn to... already has a whole support group of friends that they're required to be around. What does that leave me with? acquaintances that only care for as long as is expected then kinda drift out. i need people who care no matter what. i need people who don't mind those little traits that i have. people who will stay. people that i can cry around. people that i can trust. people who won't leave. people who won't have other things to attend to. I was watching national treasure this weekend, and there was one line in the ENTIRE MOVIE that stood out to me. The scene: nicholas cage and leading lady as well as other treasure seeking folk entering creepy area. Event: cage says "come here," grabs girl, and kisses her passionately. well.. passionately for disney. person who comes behind them says... THE LINE: "why can't that ever happen to me?" that quote sums up my feeling on EVERY SINGLE ENTIRE ROMANTIC MOVIE ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET when do i get my fairy tale ending of romance? hmmm never. i also have discovered that i am NOT paranoid and there is a whole group that comprises over 1/7 of my graduating class and all but one person hates me. and the one person who doesn't? my only guy friend i have left. and i appear to be losing him too. i just don't understand why it has to be this bad. am i being tested by God to see how much i can take before i break down and realize that though i'm christian, my life isn't going to be easy. i just don't get it .