I failed at school. I failed at work. Then I failed her.

Why won't she just tell me to kill myself. Tell me she hates me for what I did.

Why can't I just go ahead and do it. She might be sad at first, but I know she'd be relieved.

She doesn't want to be with me, she's just scared of feeling guilty if she pushes my sorry ass away.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. if I hate myself and my life so much why do I keep hanging on.

Maybe I'm just too pathetic to do anything about that either

maybe i just need to get into hard drugs to fry my brain first

perhaps buy a bike, rev it up and slam on the front brake. that'd be a glorious way to go

skid marks on the highway smeared at one fifty miles an hour

maybe she's found someone else and she just wants me to go away so she can be happy

her life has been rough and she deserves happiness, she's doing so well for herself

mine's been smooth and a breeze but i just keep fucking up worse. how pathetic

i hate everything around me but i'm still too non confrontational to say no, to yell at the people i want to

to tell them i fucking hate them all

quicker down the rabbit hole, caroling dreams of black and blue and red of you

i need to go to sleep. i dont want to be awake right now. i dont even want to be alive right now