all the things i think about that hurt are things i have been told since i was really young i have been told i was fat for so long i dont remember when it started i have never met the standards ppl hold for me cuz i am not like my cousin Margy: pretty, popual, cheerleader, star at everything. everything that is stuck in my head now has been put there over a long period of time. i was thinkin bout this last nite and then i thought bout the time when i had my nieces over and my dad was bein an ass the girls where sittin at the table talkin bout there grades at supper time and Becky and Sandy were arguin bout who was doin better at school and my dad interrupted them and told Becky the she wass stupid and she would end up droppin out of school like her parents and all kinds of mean things that he shouldnt have said and i what really hurts is that i realized i should have yelled at him and stopped him from sayin stuff like that at the time i juss figured she is young and it wont bring her down now it makes feel awful cuz i could have stopped her from bein treated like crap i cried bout this all night last night cuz my only goal right now is for the girls to grow up and become better than there awful parents but i guess im not bein very helpful sorry everybody i broke the promise i cut last night all i could think bout is wat the bully was tellin me and how i deserved scars on the outside like my dad put in the inside of Becky