I got accepted at St. Joe today. My all time choice of school to go to. I now have to make a decision between trying to find the money for scholarships and financial aid or going through a secure way for college money. It is such a life changing decision that i do not know which way to go. I so wish that someone could just make the decision for me but i know that nobody can. I was kind of hoping i wouldnt get into St. Joe so that my decision would be a lot easier. At one point, I thought my dad was willing to support me but he seems to have leaned towards my moms side so i dunno. I seem to be all alone on giving both sides any thought at all. It would be much easier to just like vanish into thin air or for there to be two of me so nobody is disappointed or mad about my decision. I know Shirey says its my decision and all and he just wants me to succeed but i will feel awful that he has worked with me so much and had to listen to me talk bout random stupid things that had nothing to do with him and me just back out on him. But in the end, the decision is about me and for me and i need to be the one to make my mind up. the sooner i join the better but the longer for me to decide the better my decision and less second thoughts. I can think positive as long as i am with one of the guys but without them i dont see how i can succeed without being told i can. i like love spending time with Shirey because i feel as though i can succeed at anything i put my mind to. My parents make it seem like u have to succeed and there is no other choice and it has to be at what they want. I can talk to Shirey about like anything and everything. I never can talk to my parents because it always leads into fights and changes of stories. Hell my life would pbly be much simpler had Shirey never walked into my government room but he did and now i am in the situation i am in. Besides, i have had someone to talk to with him being around. wow this is a really long entry and u all pbly quit reading it forever ago so i am goin to go later u all