its all to hard everything when my puppy first ran away i thought happy thoughts like maybe he found a new home where he gets to be inside and good stuff like that but now all i think bout is wat ppl have said like maybe he got hit, drowned in the stream by our house, sombody stole him and is abusin my baby and then i feel awful becuz i feel like i could have looked harder and tried more to find him i feel like i let him down and that he should hate me it all hurts so bad i am so confused bout Jon and Me again it is all to hard somtimes he comes and sees me and when he doesnt he at least calls me but then somtimes he juss seems to disappear and leaves me wonderin if it is becuz of me or is it juss cuz he needs to b with friends that he has more fun with i know we arent goin out so i shouldnt expect anythin out of him but i do it is awful maybe we should have stuck to his idea but i dont think tat would be any better my one safe spot at school as always been history cuz i have always juss understood it but lately i cant concentrate and i am so behind and i think i am goin to fail a test and it is no big deal but it is losin my one easy class i cant sleep lately it is way to hard all i do is think and cry and wish i was dead im up all night juss wishin i could go to sleep this is part of the reason y i cant concentrate at school i feel like i am causin a lot of the fights between my parents and i juss want a break from them i actually want a break from everybody i just want everybody to disappear for a day so i can have a day by myself juss bout me to clear my mind and settle everything i feel like i am hurtin all my friends becuz i repeatedly keep breakin promises and flippin there worlds but i juss cant stop myself somtimes i want to tell my parents everything that is goin on but my mom is so wrapped up in herself she wouldnt understand and i dont know how my dad would respond i think it would hurt him a lot so i am juss goin to keep it to myself juss stay closed up and try not to let anybody get to close sorry if u guys feel like i am pushin u away i am juss tryin not to let anybody get hurt I Love You All Lots Thanks For Reading My Site