hmmmm... you know what the worst feeling is?... missing the person you care so much about.. I got so used to everything about him... and now i miss him more than ever... I miss seeing his car come up the drive way every morning at 11 and runing down stairs to greet him with a warm hug and soft kiss on the lips. His smell of sweat was disgusting yet comforting... I remember sitting on the lazy boy looking at him make a quick lunch before he had to go back to work... every face expression is inprinted in my head...like when he gets wrinckles on his forhead when he looks up, or the way he only raises only one eyebrow... one time he cought me looking at him and he craked a smile and that little dimple that i love so much came out from hiding on the right side of his cheek. I miss late at night we would lay in bed face to face, his hand resting on my waist and we would just look at eachother... the room was dark but a light hit right on his eyes and i could see his beautiful piercing blue eyes just looking at me... it was wonderful, we never even had to say anything... once i asked, "why do you like me?".. and he would come back with, "because you're my other half".. all the sudden i felt this rush of blood go straight to my head and my heart started thumping so hard i feared he might hear it. palms sweaty, gulp, shiver... and all these questions came to mind like.. "what did i do to deserve such a perfect guy?" or "why me??"....instead of saying anything else i would kiss him, and he would understand... is this love that i feel??... I've never felt like this before, better yet I've never been "in-love".. this is all new to me.. i think about him literally non-stop, and I have no problem with that, at all... the word is used so freely by kids these days.. i think love takes time, respect, responsability, trust, and being able to work on the relationship... and that's what I'm doing [or atleast trying to]... so is this love?... if it is, then I must tell him.. but not over the phone, that's lame.. I plan on going to visit him for a week next month...maybe by then I'll figure if this is love that i have for him... ever since i came back i see everything in a new light.. everything is more beautiful, and i take things not so seriously no more... i see the world as a beautiful, simple place with no worries or regrets... I just miss him.. and in 3 months I'll be able to live my life with him.