Pardon my absence. SIT was down for a while, and I forgot to check up on it until just now. Quick re-cap: This is the part of relationships that always comes back and bites me in the ass. I recognize I have a trust issue. He notices also. He deserves so much more in depth feelings coming from my part. Him pointing it out made me actually sit down and think about it. He deserves so much more, and I need to change that to make him happy. ... So, I open up and tell him something never mentioned before.. what happens...? Dissapointment. We are not ones who love drama so he made it loud and clear, something I already knew. And in no way I am stupid enough to lose something as great as him for drugs. What's done is done.. We wont worry about it ever again. =========================================== As for the good: What's the best present a girl can give herself as a birthday gift? a plane ticket for her boyfriend to come spend it with her :) So, plans for next week include: NEW digi cam lots of balloons cake candles cuddles relaxation kisses hand holding turkey eating champagne and never ending smiles.