::Story Time::

Feeling: paranoid
Once upon a time, there was a little girl that was happy and care free. Everyday, she thanked God for everything that she had and everything that happens, knowing that it's his plan. One day, the little girl's parents start fighting, but didn't think anything of it because it's in God's hands. The fighting started getting worse and worse until the parents decided to be separated, permanently. Not understanding everything that was going on, the little girl was obedient and went with her mother to a far off place, away from her father and new step mother. This did not make the girl happy. The mother assured the girl she would see her father again, just not then. Sometime passed and she was able to see her father, but not for a long time. This pattern was repeated for the next eight years. Then the father moves even farther away, and the girl can't see him as often and wonders why God did this. One day, the girl decides to live with her father. The mother wasn't happy about it at all and talked to other people about it. It took a very long time, but the girl finally got her way and lived with her father in the far off place. A year later, they move back to a closer place to the mother, but still far away. The little girl is happy to be back in familiar lands. The mother still isn't happy about her daughter being so far away. The mother starts calling the daughter more to get her to come home and live with her. This makes the girl unhappy and cry because she hates choosing between her parents and thinks God is punishing her. Many years later, the girl approaches her senior year of highschool. The girl is chosen to be a Drum Major, be in Varsity Show Choir, National Honor Society, have a part time job, and be on the Honor Roll but can only do so much. Earlier that summer, the girl became very sick with stomach aches and needed to have some medicine. So the girl's parents decided to take her to special doctors to make her better. The girl had lost a lot of weight and was very weak, so they kept her in the hospital for a week. During that time, the parents told her to drop some activities and limit her stress level. The girl begins to question if she should continue even living because of all the pain she's gone through. The girl feels as if she's losing faith in God. This did not make the girl happy. So she decided to not be in National Honor Society and Varsity Show Choir, but was still a Drum Major. The girl is released from the hospital and is feeling much better. The school year started and made the girl very happy to see friends again. Homecoming time comes around, and the girl doesn't want to go because her face looked different because of the medicine she was taking. Time went by and the girl decided to go. She went and had the time of her life and sees a boy who she's known since junior high school. The girl had a crush on him then and still liked him. After the dance, they met back at the girl's house where they talked for a long time. The girl was very happy and thanked God for a wonderful time. The boy seemed a bit hesitant to ask something, so the girl guessed what he was going to say and smiled. This made the girl very happy. They decided to become a couple, but keep it very low key. The next day, the boy wants to leave his house because he feels sad there and goes over to the girl's house. There were too many things that reminded the boy of his father who passed away 28 days before. They boy and girl talk for a while which makes them very happy. The girl thanks God for letting him be there with her. Then the boy develops a look of seriousness on his face. The girl becomes worried. The boy says that he really likes the girl, but thinks that it's not a good time for him to have a super cool girlfriend while his mother is all by herself cry because his dad had died. This doesn't make the girl happy, but says to the boy that it's ok and she understands. The boy says to the girl that he's really sorry and really likes the girl, but that he can't be with anyone while he's still not over his father dying. The girl is very sad, but doesn't show it because she knows her friend feels bad. The girls says she will give the boy time and to talk about anything he wants anytime, like they always had done before. This makes the boy happier and says he'll try again later. This makes the girl happier, but is still hurting inside. Later that day, the girl thinks to herself that she was being selfish and only wants the best for her friend. So she thanks God for everything that has happened and wants God to be with the boy's family, and the girl cried because no one wants to be with her.
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I can accept how I am, I just wish other people could. Size isn't something you have any control over. I don't think it should be a big issue. People are stupid.

♥Dizzle
I love you Doodlebug! Little sis,I am sorry that you are hurt. You are the greatest encouragment in my life. You sometimes are the one person that I can just look at and know that I have some mercy in my life. Some day someone will realize everything that I know about you. Thank God He gave us each other to get through this mess together. You are a child of God and that means more than any other title.
When you think that you can't keep walking, try dancing. I wish that I were there right now to tell you that everything will be okay, and you could tell me that it is not the end of the world and then we could just watch a good movie and laugh and forget that pain is how we learn the really good lessons. Instructions and discipline manifest so much greater things than we could ever imagine. Holly... listen to me... I want you to believe.
Believe that temporal things are going to leave you unfufilled and angry. The only thing you can do is pick yourself up, bandage up the wounds and don't smile because everyone tells you to be happy...smile because we really deserve much worse. Instead we have been given something that is inexpressible. Now I need you to do something...call me if you ever just need me to remind you of these things. You know that I would never hesitate to come home