I'm sinking back into depression. I'm feeling things I haven't felt in so long, I almost thought I was regressing to a time before the depression started. But I'm just going back to my other personality again. The denial was working, but now I'm going back to hiding it within myself. And I was doing so well, staying so consistent. I guess everything changes sometime... All my life, I've had two personalities, switching off between tham at random (but several-month-long) intervals. I like my current one better. I'm a goth inside. I'm alive. I'm musical, poetic... But as soon as I get to such a point, I always go right back to the beginning. The other me, the happy child who watches sitcoms and doesn't understand why people swear. But I guess it's only fair, that personality has to grow too. Once again, I've found myself thinking horrible and violent things about my grandmother, wishing she was dead, seeing it happen, hating myself and repressing it... Everything is so rushed... It was such a beautiful day today. As I must have heard somewhere because I'm not clever enough to think of it, it's a great day for the world to end. My world, at least. As I know it. I don't know what the fuck my problem is, but it's killing me. I hope I can get this turned around before it's too late. Otherwise... I don't know what will happen.