Have I mentioned Casey dumped me? He said I dumped him... I didn't mean to. I need to talk to him. I'm not even poetic anymore - not even getting comments - not writing worthy entries - not writing anything pretty. Can't you see that all I wanted was to make you happy? Can't you see that it only hurt me because I couldn't make you happy all the time? Can't you see... Couldn't I see that it would only hurt you more, trying to work it out? I am sorry. I am sorry. I'll be dead when you see me next, I do wish you the best. Give my organs to the homeless and I hope you burn the rest. Forgive me for the spattered blood and all the mess I've left - I pray that I can do this, Lord let my hand be deft - I didn't mean to hurt you or to leave you burdened here... There's just one thing I can't abide: for you to shed a tear. I'll love you from my resting place - deep down I always did - I'd send you secret messages if earth did not forbid. I'm sorry for the things I've done, as for this final act... I can't stop the pain I've caused but I can lessen it's impact. To everyone, my deepest apologies. ~ Beth