I am in a depressed, creative mood. One of my best friends recently said something, and I don't think he knows how much it hurt me. On a happy note, I spent today with my best friend Morgan... Which was actually bittersweet. At first, she was being mean, closed off, telling me to leave... I don't know why she does that... But then we went for ice cream and cookies... And brownies and pop. She was happier then. She wanted to be with her boyfriend instead of me. He was nowhere to be found. We watched the sun set over the mountains/beach from the library playground, then walked back to her place for dinner and the Simpsons. We cuddled on the floor, and when it came time for me to go home, neither of us wanted me to leave. Things tend to be like that between us... It gets confusing sometimes, and hurts my feelings, but then she can be such a great friend, such a fun person... The sunset was beautiful, though... And we got free cookies and brownies because we went into a store not realizing it was rented out for a private party (we saw the sign when we were leaving, and promptly ran across the street silently thanking Ruth for her birthday treats)... We tried to pay, but the hostess said, "Oh, no, it's all been paid for." So you see, we could not argue... Mmm, Ozzy Osbourne's "Running Out of Time" just came on (of course it did, it's on the playlist...). I love this song, it's so pretty... It is so emotional somehow. Perfect for the odd kind of day I had today. I need to get some sock gloves. I wore Morgan's today, and she let me borrow them, and now I'm cold without them. I want to go completely goth. My soul screams out for it, really... I love to dress myself up in certain kinds of clothes, makeup, and temporary tattoos, but I never go to school dressed the way I want. I let my overbearing grandmother dictate the way I dress and act... I am somewhat of a weakling. I'd make a good goth... And it's me, I don't care how stereotypical or faddish it is. Music will save my soul. Here are the bands/artists that have helped me not to commit suicide thus far: RHCP Shawn Mullins Everclear Ozzy Osbourne Chevelle Travis Starsailor Creed REM The Eagles Bad Religion Unwritten Law Staind These, among others... That's all I have to share, for the moment.