so i have not written in a very long time. im kind of surprised i am even writing now. i am supposed to be finishing somehting for one of my finals but whatever. only one more paper to write. i guess i havent been writing because i just dont really care. not about this. i am happy i still have this site. i have never had a diary for this long before. im too fukin adhd for that. i have been trying to stop smoking. that hasnt worked. i have reverted back to the days of my youth and now try to cover up the smell so as not to piss my parents. i feel so stuck. no car means i cant drive to a job thats more than a city away. there are no good jobs in my town. no full time ones anyway. i already paid for school next semester so if i end up in the air force or something ill be pissed. dont really want to go but i really dont see many options for me. found a letter i wrote brittany about three years ago. the only letter i ever wrote professing my unwavering love towards someone. lol, i never even gave it to the bitch. it was strange.... i found it in a spiral notebook i have had sence my freshman year in high school. opened that fucker about 100 times sence i wrote that letter... never saw it before... aww the power of the elipses... ... ...