well now lets see... if i had a dollar for every time i questioned my beliefs then i would be well off... i grow tired of dealing with the petty bullshit that manages to hang in the air around me like some air-born neuro-toxin ready to make its way into my system... at least it would be over at that point... sigh... i think what gets to me the most is that i understand the nature of the beast and am able to recognize it from quite a distance... i would like to think that i am a very formidable opponent... the real problem i suppose is that i see this and knowing that it is coming, welcome it with open arms... on that note i must respond that this is not something that makes me happy... i would rather welcome it than feel its presence at a latter point in time... so one could assume that i choose to do battle up front because it is more stable... i feel that stability with such complexicities will no doubt lead to a more productive way of dealing with other peoples bullshit... --------------------------------------------- well... sigh...