so bee went to arizona to visit a dying grandmother... while on her way we relayed text after text in a continuance of our last conversation at work... this girl blows my mind because i see so much of myself in her... the jaded portions of my mind are hers as well... we have both been through some horrible relationships and we are now in the process of using each other for healing... this was never even in the realm of possibilities when we first met and hooked up... this girl i want but i cant have and it is the same for her as well... looks aside, and she is a looker, hell she is trying out for the san diego chargers cheer squad, she has more depth than i know what to do with... and not the depth that has a metric ton of baggage attached either, this girl just has ten thousand levels to her... she has allowed me to open up and begin to admit things openely that i have not wanted to let forth for anyone... it all just fell into place like it was nothing... my general annoyance is gone and i find myself wanting to just sit and talk with her more and more... the text messages at eight in the morning bring a smile to my face as do the ones right before bed... it has also occured to me that i am ninety nine percent sure that she or i will end up in the end with someone else by our side but thats ok now... strange as it is for me to process this situation like that... she doesnt deserve what she has had in the past nor should she continue to find guys like she has had... i hope more than anything we both can walk away from this and be not only better people but were able to have at least that one person to count on emotionally without that attachment... we both need it...