Please some one fucking kill me Gawd, today has been another blah day. I don't feel like doin anythin. Was amusin seein mr. B in a dress tho. But I mean like, i got my period, and I'm just majorly depressed, I dunno why. It's like to the point where suicide ideation is setting in. I've been thinkin of all the ways I could end it all. Tryin to think of how I can make it look like an Accident, ya kno? I kinda do and don't want my family to realize what i have been secretly struggling with these past years. It's not like they care anyways. I've tried telling them and they just ignore me. Like I don;t exist!!!! Just please fucking kill me I haven't cut in a few days. Actually I was hopin to quit. I'm starting to hate my scars. They are like a constant reminder that no matter what happens in life, if things get better, they will always be there following me, letting me know how weak I was. I fucking hate myself....I think i will cut tonight. Maybe I'll feel better then....I dunno My dad's surgery went alright I guess. The bastard is still breathing. He's like all pissed that he can't go to FL and we still are. The reservations can't be moved so we like have to go. My mom wants to take my nana but she is such a drag! I love her but damn she is so fucking annoying and like no fun when it comes to rides...... Man next week is gonna be a drag. Here's what My sched is Sunday 4/25- CCD till noon, den whatever mom has planned Monday 4/26-collect HW from teachers, Clean room, Start to sort clothes, Tuesday 4/27- Confirmation practice Wednesday 4/28- Clean all 6 cages, Start packing Thursday 4/29-Confirmation, Finish Packing clothes, Start packing cds n fun stuff, Check animals food supply,Say good bye to friends Friday 4/30-Hopefully sleep in, Put bags by the door, Try to finish HW so der wont be any to do on the way home. Call friends to say good bye again, Do final rounds, Den set out on the trip/ Busy week dontcha think? oooo I talked to John, Randy Meisners Agent. He said dat randy is comin out with a new cd, and mite tour. John thinks that maybe he can get Randy and Bernie Leadon together to do a gig. Wouldn't dat be awesome? 2 of the Original Eagles becoming a singing duo? Anyways I'm depressed N goin to bed