wellz....another long night While lookin for some Ephedra yesterday afternoon found a bottle of acetaminophen/Codeine Elixer full......Downed it while I was talking to Nick. Just didn't feel good yesterday. He was being so sweet tho....I love him to death. He mentioned something about still catching the bus. I'm like damn..... I still have every intention of killing myself Anyways.... I OD'd on the entire bottle......Stuff works fast. Was feeling it while I was chattin with nick. Anyways......My dad gave me the Exorcist dvd. I put that on. But curled up with my cd player listening to "Asleep" by the Smiths... I love the Lyrics Sing me to sleep Sing me to sleep I’m tired and i I want to go to bed Sing me to sleep Sing me to sleep And then leave me alone Don’t try to wake me in the morning ’cause I will be gone Don’t feel bad for me I want you to know Deep in the cell of my heart I will feel so glad to go Sing me to sleep Sing me to sleep I don’t want to wake up On my own anymore Sing to me Sing to me I don’t want to wake up On my own anymore Don’t feel bad for me I want you to know Deep in the cell of my heart I really want to go There is another world There is a better world Well, there must be Well, there must be Well, there must be Well, there must be Well ... Bye bye Bye bye Bye ... Anyways tho.... I laid down...and could barely breath....Just hugged my Teddy bear and thought of Nick. Was so close. i was so sure it would work the way I was feeling. But dammit I'm still here. I woke up at 4:30am surprisingly..... I wanted to die so bad tho. I cant deal with my parents anymore. They're Driving me insane. They argue with me for no reason. Can't stand the yelling....Don't wanna live anymore. I hate skool. I have class with no one reallii. I stay to myself and don't talk unless told to. Ya kno? I mean like I Love nick....I Love Allan and my other friends....But it's not enough to wanna stay around. A girl can only handle so much before she's had enough and I've reached the breaking point. Been there for awhile but I know I can do it. I will.....It's only time. I'd like to see Nick first tho. Just to be with him.. ya kno? But anyways.....I gotta make myself look decent and get ready for class.......... Took 2 ephedra's so.....dunno how that will react...Newyz tho...I gotta go.... RaZoR WhOrE