Just been cryin.....rock bottom sucks ass....been home 20mins and am very very very close to hittin the med cabient. dont kno why I feel this way. It's just like the song "teenage suicide" the walls are closin in... its like the days are gettin hard to handle, I've been sleepin way more then i should, It's like sitting at the crossroads of life ya kno? I have 2 roads, Left to love, right to suicide. I feel so dead inside, but yet there's a little fight left. I don't kno whether to take a chance at Love or just get it over with and kill myself, So confused right now. Kinda scared at what i may do to myself or what I could cause others to do. I keep tryin to put myself in danger.....risky situations that could result in death. I don't want to suffer a long death....I want it to be reasonably fast. Funny though. I have no one to stop me from killin myself. No emotional blackmail. and I have no one to encourage me to give life a chance.....It's like being stuck. I know onli I can make this decision.....Dunno what to do.... Well my Algebra grade is shit 51.9% I am FUCKED....gah....more reason to kill myself. My parents are gonna fuckin murder me when they find out. Will be waitin for my reportcard in the mail and the call from my teacher. Oh and then walkin home today. it's like 20 degrees out but with the windchill feels like -20 plus its snowin and there's water all over the place. I was wearin a hoodie and jeans. Keep in mind I have a mile walk home. So i'm walkin home mindin my own buisness. Some fucker made it a point. He veered his truck over splashed thru a puddle of water and fuckin soaked me. this was rite off skool grounds. I froze to death walkin home. I had to ring my jeans, hoodie, bra and panties out. Thats how fuckin drenched I got. Still can't feel my legs....Gah..... I'm gonna go carve razor whore into my leg now and take stills.....will post'em when I'm done....