i don't know a year ago, i would have never seen myself in this position stuck between myself and who i THOUGHT i was. its not over. the fight has not been won. i can not give up. i don't know. je ne sais pas. gawl. im so confused andrew and i are getting married. but is it fake? or is it real? am i real? am i fake? rip my skin off? what do you see? i do not yet know.

beautiful disaster
kelly clarkson he drowns in his dreams, an exquisite extreme, i know. hes as damned as he seems more heaven than a heart could hold and if i try to save him, my whole world would cave in and it just aint right. oh and i dont know i dont know what hes after but hes so beautiful hes such a beautiful disaster and if i could hold on through the tears and the laughter would it be beautiful or just a beautiful disaster hes magic and myth as strong as what i believe a tragedy with more damage than a soul should see and do i try to change him? so hard not to blame him hold me tight, oh and i dont know i dont know what hes after but hes so beautiful hes such a beautiful disaster and if i could hold on through the tears and the laughter would it be beautiful or just a beautiful disaster im longing for love and the logical but hes only happy hysterical im searching for some kind of miracle waited so long hes soft to the touch but frayed at the end he breaks hes never enough and still he's more than i can take oh and i dont know i dont know what hes after but hes so beautiful hes such a beautiful disaster would it be beautiful or just a beautiful disaster and if i could hold on through the tears adn the laughter would it be beautiful or just a beautiful disaster hes beautiful just a beautiful disaster.

what do i know? i dont deserve him he can do so much better what makes me think i have the slightest chance he doesnt want me hes made that quite clear but oh, how i long to be his to taste his lips after each mamba and slim jim to hold him to be his to hold for him to long to hold me.

im a little love struck ♥[b]ritann[y]♥