Well well chickuns, time for a new entry I thought...I think that my week was ok, I can't really remember it, it was all a bit of a blur... sexy is you pushing me up against your car in the pouring rain; and kissing me with no intentions of ((ever )) stopping. Monday I think was quite shit, I had just had a really bad day and I'd had enough so I went and visited Simon that afternoon and had my whinge and breakdown and he made me feel better and I walked out of there smiling (as per always). I don't know what I'd do without that boy... Tuesday Was quite a long day, my Grandmas funeral and all...It was alright...I made it to the end without crying and then I let a few tears go, then I went out to the cemetry and that was sad, so I cried at that and then went to the wake where I babysat....Yay...And then that night went out to dinner with all the long lost rellies...Who I discovered I actually liked....And who like me...That afternoon, I was pretty messed up....I really needed to see Simon, but yeah he wasnt home which sort of made me worse, I don't know why. I need to get out of the habit before I get into it of depending on someone so much coz its not good... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ♥ do you ever just get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? you dont want to smile, and you don't want to fake being happy. but at the same time, you don't know exactly what is wrong either. there isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. if you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. people have stopped being comforting.. and being alone never was. at least when you're alone no one constantly asks you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who wont take "i don't know" for an answer. you feel the way you do just BECAUSE. you hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ♥ The rest of the week went by, was a bit of a blur...I havent got to go to school much the next few weeks coz of exams which is good... I need a new job.... I need a certain boy... I need to get my Taste of Chaos tickets -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ♥ i want a boy A nice and bad boy. A boy who has shaggy hair and lets me play with it. He'll tell me we're like Corey and Topanga. He'll give me his favorite sweatshirt. He'll call me at 3am and ask me what i'm doing. He'll tell me he couldn't fall asleep because he was thinking about me, and he needed to hear my voice. He'll text me every morning before school saying "Have a great day babe I love you!". And he always whispers something sweet in my ear. He'll take me to a concert to see his favorite band. And he wont get embarrassed to tell me he loves me in front of his friends. He'll always make me feel better because he knows the perfect things to say to me. All of his friends will know we're in love because he'll talk about me to them. He'll stay up with me all night when im sick. We always end up laughing about silly fights. Even if we're a million years old, butterflies will still go crazy inside of me ... Everytime he kisses me. ... He'll introduce me to his friends as the coolest girl he's ever met. He'll buy me jewelry and bouncy balls from vending machines. We would have contests of how far we could spit our gum, or how far we could jump off a swing. He'll take walks with me in the snow, and we'll catch *snowflakes* on our tongues He would grab my waist and kiss my neck. And we'd always take pictures in photo booths. He'll let me go places with his mom. We would play tag and not care whos watching. We'd kiss in the rain. And when I hear him speak, I'll fall in love all over again. I want a boy who can argue over stupid things with me, and than go totally soft when I got sad and apologize. I want someone who would lay with me outside under the stars. Someone who will squirt me with water guns in the house. When we kissed our hips would be pressed together. I want someone to be there no matter what. I'll be his everything. And he'll be even more to me .. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ♥ it's the kind of crush where i just finished putting up my away message && and i'm about to walk out the door. then he signs on and suddenly whatever i was going to do .. doesn't matter .. but talking to him does x0o ---------------------------------------------------------------- ♥ Look In my Eyes I'm Jaded Now, Whatever That Means