heh... Today I almost killed myself... Obviously I didn't succeed. I wanted to though. So yea, here's my wish list for all you fuckers who do or do not give a shit... I wish... 10) I had the courage to kill myself and get it over with... 9) I didn't feel so alone in this fucked up world of ours... 8) the guy I like wasn't dating and, according to him, in love with my friend 7) that my friends didn't get every guy I've liked. 6) that I would stop being so GODDAMNED ANGRY... 5) that none of the shit I've had to go through in my life ever happened... 4) that I could just be me and not worry about what other ppl think or don't think... 3) that I could find someone who likes me and isn't interested in Kelley or Evelyn, or any other friend of mine... 2) that Kelley would stop scratching, but that's not gonna happen. And I can't push it or I'll lose her more than I already have. 1) that I could be happy... That is my main wish... I just want to be happy. Why the hell is that so hard for me? Why can't I just hang out with my friends and be happy? Why do I always do this to myself? Why do I always have to fucking HELP my friends get the guy they want when I know I like them... Why do I always put myself through this? It's always the same... A friend gets a guy and suddenly I'm even more alone, b-cuz well 3rd wheel isn't fun... It sucks ass, and that's what I've always been... Single Erika, that's me... Always and forever... I don't want to like Chris, I don't want to do to Evelyn what she did to me. I would never EVER do ANYTHING like that to my friends. I don't want to worry about Kelley the way I do. I don't want to cry b-cuz of all the things she's going through. I don't want to have to talk to her and wonder, God has she been scratching? I don't want that!! I don't want any of it!! I don't want to feel the way I feel... It's too much, I just can't take it. I'm surrounded by friends and yet I feel so fucking alone that I just want to die... I just wanna give up and die and there's nothing anyone can do about it... So that's my little wish list and all the fun little details that go along with it... If you don't care then, you don't have to leave a stupid ass comment telling me... w/e, I'm out...