A bunch of stuff has happened I guess. I still talk to Eduardo... And yea... He was telling me all this stuff about how he still loved me and everything. And I dunno... One big confusing thing. He still goes out with Donut. It's been 1 month and 5 days. Me and Ricky have been going out for 9 days. We don't really have anything in common and we really don't have anything to talk about... lol. So it's kind of a waste, but kinda not cuz I do like him. I dunno... He's different from Eduardo. He treats me like I'm too good for him. Whenever he makes a joke he expects me to take it seriously and freaks out... It's kind of annoying. I wish he would just relax. But yea... Anyways...My mom has me in therapy now. The woman's kind of annoying. I don't really like her, because I just don't feel comfortable talking to her about stuff that's really bothering me and when I do start to open up about it she tries to talk about something else that I guess she thinks is more important. I dunno... She's frickin annoying. But back to Eduardo. I miss him so much... I just wish he was here, but at the same time I don't. His grandmother has breast cancer, so I feel like I should be there for him. I dunno... I wanna see him so bad. I wanna hug him. Just have him here. But that's not gonna happen. At least not any time soon. He talks about all these feelings and everything. But I'm not gonna see him for at least 7 months and a lot can happen in 7 months. We might not even be talking. Him and Donut may have decided to get married or some shit by then. He might have even forgotten about me. I dunno... Confusion. I wanna tell him to forget about me and just enjoy Hawaii as best he can, even though he still has family issues, at least I won't be adding to his problems. I love him and I always will, but I just feel like a burden at times. And I feel horrible for doing this to Ricky. Apparently he has a history of having girls play him cuz he's had friends come up to me and practically threaten me about it, and yea... I'm tellin them "Oh that's not my style." but at home I'm tellin Eduardo how I feel about him and all that shit and it's too much for me. I've been so depressed... Over boys!!! WTF... I need to just get over it, we both need to just move on and try to get lives that don't revolve around wondering "What if...?" Cuz we'll never know. What if Eduardo had stayed? Would we have let ppl know that we liked each other? What if he had stayed? How many of my friends would I still have after they found out? What if he had stayed? Would we still be together? What if he had stayed? Would we end with some terrible fight? So many questions... so many possible answers. But the truth is we really will never know, so we should just move on and forget about it... Whatever, I'm gonna go... Do something... I should probably run or something... w/e... Ciao...