just like the title i wore my fucking heart on my sleave and now look! im a fucking idiot! how could i have trusted him so soon?! not even a year! we started dating on january 1st and we broke up 3 months later then he played me.. dirty. what a fucking retard i am. only a stupid person would fall for that one. ive always been so careful not to trust anyone but lolo and sometimes its hard to even trust her... i think its my moms fault, i could never trust her i would tell her somthing then 2 days later all her friends and their daughters and sons would know. i leard this tact by age 10. i think thats pathetic. I FUCKING SUCK AT LIFE! thow could this happen ive always looked out for this ALWAYS! and the one time i do decide to open up and spill me fucking heart out was to the guy who could hurt me the most. him. i was so naive that i though he would never hurt me. when someone says i love you they mean it, thats the way i was brought up (he had told me e loved me) thats why i never tell anyone i love them not even my mom. the only people i think i have ever told, and i mean really told not like the 'ilu' and 'xoxo' or 'i wuv you' sort of shit even i love u never cut it for me. the only way you would ever be able to tell is if i did the whole thing I LOVE YOU just like that, spelled right no abbrievitations nothing, just my whole fucking heart , right there. the only people i have ever said i love you to were my dad my sister lolo my aunt and cousions jennifer and jared. stupid little me. oh well, now i know what to not do ever again.. i wish dara was here i need to talk to her =( she understands because of her dilemma laura her it is flat out and well just flat out.. I LOVE YOU i really do i dont know what the fuck i would do without you, you always been there for me when you could and thats all i need i dont know what i would do without you x3 Lauren