WELL THE WH0LE THiNG WiTH BEN DiED D0WN A WH0LE L0T & N0W LAUREN & i ARE BACK T0 N0RMAL. i KiND 0F LiKED iT WHEN SHE FELT GUiLTY BECAUSE SHE WAS BEiNG S0 NiCE T0 ME & T0LD ME THAT SHE'D BELiEVE ME N0 MATTER WHAT i SAiD -- WELL N0W iT'S ALL G0NE -- 0H WELL iT WAS G00D WHiLE iT LASTED .. iT JUST KiND 0F SUCKS WHEN S0METHiNG HAPPENS & THE 0NE PERS0N i WANT T0 BELiEVE ME NEVER D0ES & i CAN C0UNT 0N iT & iF i EVER WERE T0 BET 0N iT i'D BE RiCH!! 0H WELL -- i CAN DEAL -- i STiLL L0VE HER! ______________________________________ THE L0VE LiFE ______________________________________ WELL i KiND 0F LiKE THiS 0NE B0Y & HE D0ES G0 T0 0UR SCH00L & YEAH! BUT i D0N'T THiNK THAT HE'D BE iNT0 ME BECAUSE LiKE C0ME0N iT'S ME!! BUT HE'S REALLY NiCE & REAL CUTE!! ______________________________________ MY CHRiSTMAS WiSHES ______________________________________ 1. A G00D B0YFRiEND .. N0 0NE REALLY WANTS T0 BE AL0NE F0R THE H0LiDAYS .. & i THiNK iT'S AB0UT TiME THAT i GET iNT0 S0ME0NE ELSE 2. i WANT iT T0 SN0W iN FL0RiDA!! i THiNK iT W0ULD BE THE C00LEST THiNG EVER!! 3. UNLiMiTED GiFT CARD T0 A&F !! - - i'M 0UT LiKE A GAY KiD iN A STRAiGHT BAR

IN 6TH i F0UND 0UT THAT i HAD A 48 0N A SPANiSH TEST -- & THAT MR P ALREADY CALLED MY MESSAGE MACHiNE AT H0ME AND LEFT A MESSAGE .. BUT N0W SAYiNG WHAT .. S0 i WAS REALLY SAD & HE SAiD THAT HE'D FiX iT .. S0 i WENT T0 ANA'S H0USE AFTER SCH00L WiTH ERiCA, L0L0, JACQUi & KELLY & WE WERE ALL G0iNG T0 THE M0ViES T0NiGHT & STUFF .. S0 THEN 0N MY M0M'S WAY H0ME FR0M W0RK SHE CALLED THE H0USE T0 CHECK THE MESSAGES & SHE HEARD iT .. S0 THEN SHE CALLED ME & T0LD ME SHE WAS PiCKiNG ME UP .. S0 i FLiPPED 0UT BECAUSE i G0T S0 EXCiTED & STUFF THEN i RAN T0 ANA'S BATHR00M & YEAH -- S0 THEN MY M0M CAME & PiCKED ME UP & YELLED AT ME iN THE CAR -- i'M S0 0VER THiS .. i KN0W i S0UND LiKE A S-0iLED BRAT & i'M AWARE 0F THiS .. BUT .. MY SPANiSH CLASS iS A MESS! i'VE NEVER SEEN A W0RSE CLASS THAN THiS iN MY LiFE!! i CAN'T C0NSENTRATE & iT'S JUST LiKE WE NEVER KN0W iF WE'RE G0NNA HAVE A TEST BECAUSE HE D0ESN'T TELL US .. & EVEN iF HE DiD TELL US i W0ULDN'T BE ABLE T0 HEAR HiM BECAUSE iT'S S0 FLiPPiN L0UD & EVERY0NE'S ALWAYS TALKiNG!! GRR!! THiS iS S0 GAY! .. i REALLY JUST WANTED T0 HAVE FUN WiTH MY FRiENDS -- i NEVER GET T0 SPEND TiME WiTH THEM -- BECAUSE 0F FLiPPiN DANCE && SUCH!.. & THiS WAS THE 0NE TiME! -UHH .. 0UT LiKE PLATF0RMS

i HAVE G00D NEWS .. Y0U JUST SAVED A L0AD 0F M0NEY 0N Y0UR CAR iNSURRANCE! JUST KiDDiNG! WELL UMM --> ASHT0N + I = 0VER (&I'M 0KAY WiTH iT!!) WE DiDN'T G0 ANYWHERE THiS WEEKEND 0R ANYTHiNG -- THE M0ST WE DiD WAS TALK LAST NiGHT F0R A WHiLE .. & i PR0MiSED MYSELF THAT N0 MATTER WHAT T0DAY WAS G0iNG T0 BE THE LAST DAY F0R US & WHATEVER WE EVER HAD W0ULD EiTHER W0RK 0UT T0DAY 0R BE 0VER & D0NE WiTH T0DAY .. S0 iT JUST iT BEiNG 0VER HAPPENED T0 BE THE WAY THiNGS W0RKED 0UT .. S0 TiME T0 M0VE 0N .. WH0'S iNTERESTED?? N0 i'M JUST KiDDiNG -- i D0N'T WANT T0 BE LiKE THAT ANYM0RE -- i WANNA BE THE 0LD LM .. Y0U KN0W THE 0NE THAT WAS LiKE i D0N'T KN0W .. i'M KiDDiNG MYSELF -- i CAN'T G0 THAT FAR BACK iN TiME!! i JUST WANT T0 BE LiKE Y0U KN0W -- N0T EASY .. YEAH -- THAT'S THE TERM i'M L00KiNG F0R! WELL i'M 0UT

0MG0SH! i'M SUCH A FLiP FL0P -- 0NE DAY THERE'S N0 H0PE & iT'S LiKE 0VER & THE NEXT i'M LiKE WELL MAYBE?? WHAT C0NFUSSi0N -- i MEAN MAKE UP MY MiND ALREADY!! WELL i HAVE BALLET T0NiGHT :) -- M0RE LiKE :( && T0M0RR0W LAUREN S. & i ARE WEARiNG CHRiSTMAS S0CKS T0 SCH00L .. LiKE C00L KiDDS! SEE L00K --> SHE iS S0 CLiCHE: 0kay so tomorrow --- you CAN'T forget the christmas socks!! WHOA retro kids: lol ok i won't! SHE iS S0 CLiCHE: : good because it's like a FLiPPiN must! WHOA retro kids: haha okay (: (: SHE iS S0 CLiCHE: : hehe :-) .. what color are yours! SHE iS S0 CLiCHE: : ? WHOA retro kids: i have owns that are white with green and red snowflakes nad ones that are red and white stipes..i'm going to wear one of each! WHOA retro kids: you? SHE iS S0 CLiCHE: : UMM -- I HAVE WHITE 0NES WITH REDD AND BLACK SNOWMANS (I THINK) AND GREEN ONES WITH SANTAS AND JUNK -- SHUD I WEAR ONE OF EACH TW0? WHOA retro kids: yeah! SHE iS S0 CLiCHE: : okay .. and a red ribbon in el hairo

69 - WHAT A G00D NUMBER!! WELL I HAVEN'T WRiTTEN iN HERE iN A VERY L0NG TiME -- M0STLY THE REAS0N BEiNG THAT i DiDN'T GET MY P0WER BACK AT MY CASA UNTiLL THiS PAST SUNDAY. WELL T0DAY W0ULD HAVE BEEN 3 M0NTHS -- W.HAT i.T W.0ULD H.AVE B.EEN W.0ULD B.E L.0VE - LiKE THE TiTLE BUT THERE'S N0THiNG I CAN D0 N0W.. N0 MATTER H0W HARD I TRY -- AND BELiEVE ME I DiD TRY!! BUT THAT'S PRETTY MUCH 0VER F0R G00D AS L0NG AS HE'S C0NCERNED -- BUT iF iT WERE UP T0 ME .. WE'D BE T0GETHER F0REVER -- S0 G00DBYE MY L0VER THE FAMiLY LiFE : DURRiNG THE HURRiCANE MY GRANDPA L0ST P0WER AND HE HiT HiS HEAD 0N A D00R -- HE WAS C0MPLAiNiNG 0F HEADACHES S0 HE WENT T0 THE DR. T0 GET A CATSCAN-- AND iT ENDED UP THAT HE HAS A BRAiN BLEED .. AND MY TiTi MEMBY iN NY JUST G0T DiAGN0SED WiTH C0LiN CANCER, AND A TUMMER iN HER ST0MACH. SHE HAD THE SURGERY T0DAY -- AND S0 FAR SHE'S 0KAY. THESE THiNGS JUST SCARE ME. I'M N0T AFRAiD 0F DiEiNG, I'M JUST AFRAiD THAT EVERY0NE AR0UND ME iS G0ING T0 DiE AND I'M G0NNA BE THE 0NLY 0NE LEFT, AL0NE. WELL T0NiGHT'S PLANS: T0DAY iS DANiEL'S BiRTHDAY, S0 T0NiGHT I'M G0iNG T0 D&B'S WiTH HiM, AND HiS FRiENDS. YEAH -- iT CAN'T BE THAT BADD, I MEAN I L0VE DANiEL .. BUT S0METiMES HiS FRiENDS CAN BE S0RT 0F WEiRD :) .. BUT SAM HiS C0USiN THAT I KN0W iS G0NNA BE THERE -- S0 YEAH. WELL i'M 0UT

0KAY S0 HERE'S THE ST0RY .. i'M D0NE WiTH CHASiNG AFTER HiM i'M SiCK 0F iT LiKE i'VE SAiD BEF0RE .. iT'S JUST 0VER AND iT'S TiME THAT i FACE THAT REALiSTiCLY 0N A LiGHTER N0TE N0W -- S0 H0W ARE Y0U? WELL THiS M0RNiNG MY M0M W0KE ME UP AT 6:45 AND T0LD ME THAT WE L0ST P0WER 0VER THE NiGHT AND THAT 0UR ALARM CL0CKS ALL TURNED 0FF .. S0 iN 0THER W0RDS, i MiSSED MY BUS. S0 MY M0M HAD T0 DRiVE ME T0 SCH00L - KiND 0F A G00D BREAK :) BUT THEN.. -- T0DAY i HAD THE W0RSTE HEADACHE ALL DAY .. LiKE A MiGRANE! iT WAS H0RRiBLE. AND iT WAS ALL DAY! S0 BY THE TiME iT CAME T0 6th PERi0D i WAS LiKE DiEiNG! -- WELL i'M 0UT :) PEACE

i WANNA BE THE GiRL THAT EVERY0NE KN0WS AS THE SMART 0NE, YET PRETTY, AND THE 0NE WH0 RESPECTS HERSELF BUT KN0WS H0W T0 HAVE FUN. THE 0NE WH0 EVERY0NE CAN TRUST, AND CAN SHARE EVERYTHiNG WiTH. i WANNA BE THE GiRL THAT A GUY HAS N0 PR0BLEM SAYiNG T0 0NE 0F HiS FRiENDS -- "YEAH, i'M WiTH HER" BUT WH0 i TRULY AM AND WH0 i WANT T0 BE - ARE T0TALLY DiFFERENT WH0 i AM iS S0ME0NE WH0 iS LAZY, AND i GUESS iT'S 0KAY T0 SAY i'M G00DL00KiNG BUT i'M N0T LiKE STUNNiNG -- AND i D0N'T WANT T0 BE H0TT, i WANT T0 BE BEAUTiFUL. i D0N'T KN0W H0W T0 SAY N0, i'M AFRAiD N0T T0 TAKE A CHANCE WiTH S0METHiNG/S0ME0NE, N0 MATTER WHAT THE C0ST. AND i'M THE GiRL WH0 GUYS G0 T0 THEiR 0THER GUY FRiENDS AND SAY "YEAH, i KN0W BUT WHATEVER?" i D0N'T KN0W ??-- i'M JUST N0T HAPPY WiTH WH0 i AM AND WH0 i'VE BEC0ME, i WANT T0 HAVE A MEANiNG T0 MY LiFE MY L0VE LiFE iS GARBAGE -- iT D0ESN'T EXiST . i'M FRiCKEN H00KED 0N A B0Y WH0 D0ESN'T WANT ANYTHiNG T0 D0 WiTH ME. iT'S PATHETiC .. BUT i JUST CAN'T LET G0 0F WHAT iT WAS .. ALL i WANT iS A SEC0ND CHANCE WiTH HiM T0 PR0VE T0 HiM THAT i MADE A 0NCE iN A LiFE TiME MiSTAKE -- AND i'D NEVER D0 iT EVER AGAiN ! AND i CARE F0R HiM S0 MUCH! HE JUST D0ESN'T KN0W. --WELL i'M 0UT LiKE A LiGHT :-P

ME + ASHT0N = 0VER F0R N0W okay well that sums up me and Ashton's problems -- right? .. lets say i like this boy .. he's real cool .. and he kinda sort of likes me back so he's said .. what do i do now?? am i even ready for another relationship yet .. if it even comes to that?? but he's the AWESOMEiST kidd ever! haha and yeah -- this damn HURRiCANE WiLMA is comming so we're flying out! .. gRR! -i'm outie

this week was homecomming week so yeah! it was tons of funn! but very busy so i had no time at all to write here. umm ... yeah there are a lot of things i want to say write now that i can't because .. i need to go on my other diary to say them ... so if you want to read --- madconnections -Laura's out

a month ago today ,,,, was mine and Ashton's one month anniversery!! .... SO today i was really sad! i couldn't go on the bus today -- ijust couldn't handle it this morning .. so i had my dad bring me. I went up to hijm in school today on PSAT break to see if he remembered what today would have been... he did! AND it really surprised me actually! THEN at lunch it was really akward -- the only seat left to sit in was right next to him so -- i pulled out the chair next to that oneand sat there -- so there was a seat left open between me and Ash .. and then Kelly's like WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? and i was like that's where my bag has to go .. so then yeah! gosh! .. I CAN'T POSSIBLY WANT HiM back anymore than i do right now!! --- right now i'm not even home i'm at my mom's escuela because we had early release and i walked here from the bus stop after bascin robbins! ... so yeah i'm on the labtop!! oh and L0L0 didn't go to escuela today she was sick :( so i didn't have her to be with me today .. i was sadd! -- LAURA still L0VES AMP!

well things have been getting a little bit better between me and Ash-- we still aren't back together yet -- and i'm not happy about that!! but yeah LiFE SUCKS -- get used to it .. umm -- we're going to homecomming together .. but just as friends .. he made that very clear to me last night on the fone! but it's okay i get it -- sort of

MiCHAEL ASHTON + LAURA M0NiQUE = C0MPLiCATi0N everything is so messed up between us -- i can't even stand it anymore .. i don't even like to talk about it -- cuz it seems like my whole world is now revolving around the fact that me and him aren't together anymore .. and that i'm dieing to get him back with me!! everything i do or say reminds me of him.. it's horrible well i'm done .. i can't do this right now -- Laura

well - we broke up! i didn't think that i'd ever be saying those 3 words!! but i guess now i did! I sqrewed up -- and didn't realize what a couple words could do and HOW MUCH everything would change! .. and it all changed dramastically!! i'm really SADD about the whole thing -- i didn't think it would really happen .. but i guess -- it just wasn't meant to be -- 0R maybe it was .. and i just SQREWED it up!! time to go -- Laura

DRESS SH0PPiNG = DEATH well you can see where i went today .. yesterday i spent most the day at Aventura shopping for a dress for homecomming -- but none were worthy of me! so then today we hit up Broward Mall looking for one -- but NO LUCK! the only dress we found was one for CHRISTMAS! which is in like what 5 months!! -- it just looked pretty so i had to buy it!! but it's not homecomming dress material! -- but it's SO stressful!

did i kill it? i'm so scared.. and now it's up to him to decide .. -- me

well tomorrow we go back to school -- i'm happy bout it though i was bored today .. and of coarse just like i said Ashton didn't come over i should be a fortune teller !! anyway well i have my own issues to sort out -Laura

i deffinately hate hurricanes!! they're so unbelievibly GAY! Well so tomorrow we don't have school -- so i have NO IDEA what i'm going to do. Carly's probibly going to come over or something like that. i really want Ashton to come over .. he said he will but i don't think he's gonna -- it would be so eFFing hott if he did! but whatever umm -- i'm deffinately bored and i NEVER get any fLiPPiNG comments! - i'm out

T0dAY ME ANd ASht0N hAVE A M0ViE dAtE!! - - i'm so excited!! i LUV that boy! i think we're gonna go to see the Exorsicm of Emily Rose -- but i'm not really sure -- i think it's gonna be too scary :( well time to go get ready -- L0VES

well it's Friday and i finally beat my reccord of going out with someone .. it WAS 1 month and 3 days and NOW it's 1 month and 4 days!!!!! and that's just so far -- well yeah -- yesterday was amazing ! JUSt READ 'b0Ut it -- MADCONNECti0Ns

THERE'S GONNA BE A WHAT? GiRL FiGht well umm yeah .. this girl Kristen likes Ashton or whatever and she was trying to get him to break up with me or something .. so then I found out and me and Ash switched cellulars this morning and then she text his fone and she like asked what he was gonna do with me and stuff and then she said that he should dump me and she said i was a bitch! so then i went up to her in 1st hour and was like -- UMM.. next time you plan to talk behind my back make sure i don't have my boyfriend's cell phone !i! and she was like in shock! -- then the shit talking started in the halls -- but of coarse all of my friends heard her -- and they told me like that!! -- well i'm out