Staggering . . . My dog was outside and was playing, jumping, and having fun. When we brought him inside, we noticed he wasn't walking real good, and he could barely hold himself up. Paralyzed . . . My parents took him to the vet and he stayed there for a day. They told us the he ruptured a disk in his back, and that it was so bad that his hind end would be paralyzed. We took him home and bought doggie diapers and baby wipes along with those pads that you are supposed to potty train you dogs with (it soaked up the pee. that's all we really needed them for. it worked). He was so sad and mopey because he couldn't move. Death . . . We all decided to have him put down. He wasn't moving, he was having breathing problems, and he was so unhappy and uncomfortable. We planned that tomorrow we would take him to the vet, then take him home to bury him here. But in the middle of the day, my brother went over to him and was petting him, and he wasn't moving or breathing. Then he just blurts out: he's dead. My mom comes running down the steps and gasping, then she picks the dog up and is petting him and feeling his chest for a heart beat while I'm standing there trying to force myself not to attack the idiot of a sibling. My mom loved that dog. He just had to blurt out: he's dead. I think. I wanted to kill him! He ticked me off so bad that I just wanted to knock him unconscious. You don't say that. You don't. Like he would know that. He doesn't know anything. I've seen people in SPED that are smarter than him. He is so thick. I can't say two sentences to him without him telling me he has no clue what I'm saying. It ticks me off how stupid he is! He's probably gonna fail this year and be held back. That'll put him a grade below me where he belongs. He ruins everything for me. I got a letter from Who's who in American High Schools saying that they want to print an academic biography about me in a book and give me the chance to apply for over 157 scholarships. I need scholarships. Ok? He's got one already, and it's not fair because I have to work my way to get everything and it never seems good enough. He got a scholarship because when my mom was injured on duty in the Philly PD, she got a scholarship for Justin. I wasn't born yet, so I didn't get one. Damn it! Anyway, he was so jealous that I am smarter, and better at him at everything but cars. I don't care what he thinks, but it hurts when he says his shit and ruins it all for me. I need someone in this world who can be happy for me. This is who I got: ________ . . .nadie. No one. If I tell my friends, they'll get jealous and think I'm just gloating. That's out. If I tell my parents I get the new, usual: How much is it gonna cost us? They probably want money. It's a rip off. Either one doesn't get me where I need to be. This brings me back to the whole boyfriend and bad choices thing. Is it to much to ask from a simple congratulations and a hug once in a while? When I was little, my parents used to give me and Justin treats if we got an A on a paper or test. I'd bring them home all the time and get treats, and my brother would rarely get an A and he wouldn't get much. But it changed and he got treats for A's and B's and I would get for 100's. Then it slowly decreased to I would get nothing and he would get everything. It sucks. Ever since I was a little girl, I've asked my mom at least a dozen times total, whether she loved me as much as my brother or not. She's never answered, but one night I was talking to my dad, and he was drinking, and he told me that because he was mama's little boy, she loved him more than me. He also said that since I was daddy's little girl, he loved me more than my brother. I don't think that's completely true. In my opinion, the first borns are always the most-loved. The sad, sad story of my life. Happy Easter . . . to me.