Here are some funny quotes. I thought they might humor you. "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." - Sharon Stone "I worship the quicksand he walks in." - Art Buchwald "God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time." - Robin Williams "It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant." - Richard J. Ferris, president of United Airlines "Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me." - Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die." - Mel Brooks "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." - Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) "I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." - Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)