great. things are going just great. Chris and I are going out. i guess. i don't know yet. i called him today and talked to him for like 5 min, but he's gonna call me back tonight. i don't know what to do anymore. the buffet is opening on Tues and there's a lot of work left to do. i gotta go there tomorrow after school to do the finishing touches. i'm just so stressed. this is really gonna mess things up with Chris. I always get stressed when we're going out and then we break up because of it. 3 times! i can't stand this! I just want to be with him and have things work out. I want to make it last between us. I want a real relationship with him. I can't wait til the football game. there's a dance afterwards! i hope Chris goes. question is would he dance with me or just be afraid like the rest of the adolescents there? i think he would dance . . .but suck at it. oh well. got nothing much else to say. just waiting for his phone call. i think he's pissed that i said that stuff to him. oh well. forgive and forget he better learn those words because i'm not taking it back. and i shouldn't. football game on fri = FUN. if he doesn't ditch me for a skirt. did last time. i don't know what to do. i just won't get attached right away. just act like i am. hey. done it before. you can definately tell i'm stressed. i'm not even writing sentences or anything that makes sense. it's all just short and to the point. if i were talking, i'd be to the point of mumbling by now. I just want to be with Chris right now. it would make things better. I could try to make things better. yeah. i hope this works out. it hurt the first time, but then i got used to it never working out between us. the last time it hurt because it was over after about 5 days. this one's gonna hurt bad. it's only been a month since the last time we went out. i want this to last. i just wish he wasn't trying to be such a player. i feel like i'm getting played. i probably am. i'm gonna cry now. (ok not really). but i feel like it. i should go. i'm depressed again now. i want to talk to him. he's gotta be pissed at me. this sin't gonna work. updates soon. Belzy