So that’s it. It began as something I thought would never work and then developed into something I never knew was real but in the end I ended up losing and I had actually thought deeply into this relationship. He left today and only said goodbye to me. We both knew it was over. I loved him and by his commitment I knew he loved me. I wont forget him for know but time will come when I meet another. I feel so broken. I feel like something is missing. School will start and all will be better. To be truthful, I cried this morning when he called. I couldn’t sleep all night. I’m turning into someone who is emotional. I am not emotional. I’ve always been strong about my feelings but he changed that. He found a girl in me, a girl I had killed and murdered because she was everything i'm not. She was what made me noticeable. I don’t want attention. She was perky. I am more gothic. But she was what began my life. She was the baby that was born. Until I reached middle school. That’s when I killed her. The “real world” hit me. I faced reality. I saw everyone and knew they would all betray me. All my friends, all my classmates. All of them have hurt me in one way or another. And now, she came back because he made me feel something I was not. And now I realize it. I wanted to impress him. But fuck that. I was happy with him, I thought I was but I saw myself, and I now know i’m pathetic. But its people like him who succeed in life. Whatever comes his way I hope he’s happy because he was one of the only things that actually made me smile. But as I said before. I killed her, and now she’s dead. She may never come back. And if she does it’s when I die. Because they say, as you grow older, you grow younger.