yea i havent written in a while. sorry. ive just been confused and so forth. life at home is ok, mom is gone to work every morning, dad leaves in the afternoon, so yea its goes on forever. yessy came over my house yesterday to invite me to her party, so we hung out. its pretty cool. she told me some stuff about how james left to nica yesterday and how his girlfriend is pregnant because of him. i mean i told him if he fucked her shit would happen, b ut whatever i wish them luck on their relationship. i'll talk to him when he gets back. me and alexis are good, his birthday is coming up and im buying him some stuff, so that will be nice. but its funny cause this summer is so messed up, i hope next year drama happens between us all. why?.....we need some drama, especially sophomore year. freshman year was fun but sophomore year has to be better. i was looking at the stupid myspace thing that tansie told me to get and ive noticed something. no one is ever the same. people change. i mean in middle school, in the 6th grade i was actually happy. my best friend at the time was cynthia. i moved into 7th grade and me and cynthia barely said hi anymore. my new best friend ended up being paola. again, me and her never talk. and then eigth grade came.... a year when my life changed forever. i was best friends with karin and tansie. we three were insepreable. except for the fact that karin was always with the preps and me and tansie were outcasts. i didnt mind because we three were so close and we could always laugh together. but i dont know what happened. i mean that summer was one of the worst summers in my life. and then highschool came. i went my way they went theirs. ive become more depressed, more violent, more self centered to the point where i always want to be alone. i dont want to talk to anybody. i dont know what happened with tansie and karin. but if your reading this....yea i miss you guys but i know it will never be the same. its like all trios, you have the achiever which would be karin, the hyper one which would tansie and then the one that has all the problems... which would be me. i know its sounds retarded that im writing and no one here knows what im talking about but i started this stupid diary to write things in. and thats what im doing. all i have left to say i guess is, i wish you guys the best of luck in the future. maybe one day when we are old and have kids we can look back at eigth grade and see how great we really were. now we can just hold our breath and keep walking. im sure their happy, they still have each other. me...i have nobody. all my friends here dont understand me, their so different than i am, yet they love me like everyone else. what im basically trying to say is, appreaciate your friends, because some dont last for long... please dont cry for i am here to wipe away every single tear i'll be here to hold your hand because life didnt go the way you planned someday soon your smile will shine you'll move on and you'll be fine but until that day is today i'll be by your side to stay