so i wrote a song tonight... here it is... things in the past are never easy to forget but there are things in the past that i will never regret i dated this girl Holly was her name but i ruined it all and ill take all the blame give it one more shot if you care at all i promise this time i will not fall if you give me your hand ill lead the way if you give me your heart youll have mine that same day why don't we try, to do this again why aren't we both, more than just friends you know it's not right, the way that things are let's take care of this, you're never to far... from my heart so what do you say can we give this a try i know that you love me i can see from your eyes what can i do to show you im real they can take me to jail its your heart i will steal ill win you over its a matter of time one day ill be yours and you'll be mine and once all that happens everything will be grand i can tell you I love you while holding your hand why don't we try, to do this again why aren't we both, more than just friends you know it's not right, the way that things are let's take care of this, you're never to far... from my heart why don't we try, to do this again why aren't we both, more than just friends you know it's not right, the way that things are let's take care of this, you're never to far... from my heart you're never to far, from my heart

MOST HILARIOUS SONG EVER!!! I know pretty much everyone in the world has heard but but its just great. So for all the cutters out there and emo kids that wear their 6 year old sisters pants and do that "flippy" thing this ones for you... Dear Diary, Mood: Apathetic My life is spiraling downward I couldn’t get enough money to go to the (My Chemical Romance’s?) suffocate me dry concert It sucks because they play some of my favorite songs like, Stab My Heart cause I Love You and Rip Apart My Soul and of course Stabity, Rip, Stab, Stab And it doesn’t help that I couldn’t get my hair to flipply thing the other day like that guy from that band could do. Somedays. I’m an emo kid, unconfomting as can be you’d me uncomforting to if you looked just like me I have paint on my nails and makeup on my face I’m almost emo enough to start shaving my legs, cause I feel real deep when I’m dressing in drag I call it freedom of expression, you’ll just call me a fag Cause our dudes look like chicks and our chicks look like dikes Cause emo is one step below tranfestite Stop my breathing and slit my throat I must be emo I don’t jump around when I go to shows I must be emo I’m dark, and sensitive and have low self esteem The way I dress makes everyday feel like Halloween I have no real problems but I like to make believe I stole my sisters mascara and now I’m grounded for a week Sulking and writing poetry are my hobby I can’t get through a Hawthorne Heights album without sobbing Girls keep breaking up with me It’s never any fun they say they already have a pussy They don’t need another one Stop my breathing and slit my throat I must be emo I don’t jump around when I go to shows I must be emo Dye my hair nail polish on my toes I must be emo I play guitar and write suicide notes I must be emo My life is just a black abyss You know? It’s so dark And its suffocating me Grabbing a hold of me and tightening its grip Tighter then a pair of my little sisters jeans. Which look great on me, by the way When I get depressed I cut my wrists in every direction Hearing songs about getting dumped give me an erection I write in a live journal and wear thick rimmed glasses I tell my friends I bleed black and cry during classes I’m just a bad cheap imitation of goth You could read me Catcher In The Rye and watch me jack-off I wear skin tight clothes while hating my life If I said I liked girls I’d only be half right I look like I’m dead and dress like a homo I must be emo Screw XBOX I play old school Nintendo I must be emo I like whine and hit my parentals I must be emo Me and my friends all look like clones I must be emo My parents don’t get emo They think I’m gay because they saw me kiss a guy well, a couple of guys But I mean it's so selfless, can’t two, or four dudes make out with each other without being gay I mean chicks dig that kind of thing anyways I don’t know diary, sometimes I think you’re the only one on that gets me, You’re my best friend

Happy Easter! I am hungry so this is short. Peace.Out

some people are just so stubborn. why?

are you serious? we dated for 3 years and you think im that low? come on you know me better than that. use your head a little. God gave you a brain, dont just let it sit there and waste away

seriously whats the deal with all the fags on here that have to leave anonymous comments to people they dont even know. GET A LIFE! fess up to yourself people. why are you gonna write stuff like this... Holly, Chris is NOT for u. It's over. It ended quickly, you're confused, & ur call with him was all over the place. That is NOT God. Check ur email [anonymous (68.251.147.235)] on peoples sitd and not be man/woman enough to fess up to who you are? you probably dont even know Holly or myself. and even if you do you DON'T know the situation we are in. mind your own business. you probably are sitting there saying "see he is a jerk, blah blah blah" but sit back and look what you are doing. examine yourself. im just sticking up for myself and the girl I love. im minding my own business doing what is right. you on the other hand are acting like a child. you are trying to instigate a situation which you have no knowledge about. you are the one trying to get under someones skin. look at yourself maybe one day you will see how pathetic you really are. grow up people...

WOW it's been FOREVER. And you know what? I am feeling fresh... Wait, not just fresh SUPER FRESH! So much has gone on lately. Holly finally got her ring. (sorry it took so long babe!). I have a little photo album online now yay for me right? No webshots for me though, webshots just doesn't do it for me Flickr is where it's at yo! /* Images are wrapped in divs classed "flickr_badge_image" with ids "flickr_badge_imageX" where "X" is an integer specifying ordinal position. Below are some styles to get you started! */ #flickr_badge_uber_wrapper {text-align:center; width:150px;} #flickr_badge_wrapper {padding:10px 0 10px 0;} .flickr_badge_image {margin:0 10px 10px 10px;} .flickr_badge_image img {border: 1px solid black !important;} #flickr_badge_source {text-align:left; margin:0 10px 0 10px;} #flickr_badge_icon {float:left; margin-right:5px;} #flickr_www {display:block; padding:0 10px 0 10px !important; font: 11px Arial, Helvetica, Sans serif !important; color:#3993ff !important;} #flickr_badge_uber_wrapper a:hover, #flickr_badge_uber_wrapper a:link, #flickr_badge_uber_wrapper a:active, #flickr_badge_uber_wrapper a:visited {text-decoration:none !important; background:inherit !important;color:#000000;} #flickr_badge_wrapper {} #flickr_badge_source {padding:0 !important; font: 11px Arial, Helvetica, Sans serif !important; color:#000000 !important;} www.flickr.com More of golfguy8's photos BREAKING NEWS: THIS JUST IN!!! I LOVE HOLLY BERKEL!!! That is right, not so new new but surely it is important. Now for all of you out there that didn't know that I LOVE HOLLY! You better not forget, because I have the best girlfriend EVER!

look what i made!!!

Things have been going so well lately. Holly and I ran into each other before I went home for break. We've been reading every night for the past week. Yesterday we went to church together and just caught up. We went out to eat with Jared and Jennifer. Overall a great day. She said it best... "troll & ent are back in business...comfy sleepy chair, stinky antique booths >:(, uncle Ronnie tickles, bare "pistachio" (HAHA), DQ, talks about tilling the garden, waltzing, passing notes and of course church :)...etc....." Green. Square. Round. the best day of my life is all thanks to you

who left the anonymous comments? im so confused.... please help me interpret. Chris is no genius. Chris is tall though. so mr./mrs./ms./miss anonymous please comment back and tell me who you be. peace in the middle east!

so today i came home. i stopped and got gas. my window was down. i try rolling it up. CLICK....BOOOM. my window just drops. my trip home is 5 hours. this was 30 minutes into my trip. its cold out. i drive through the mountains. and it gets dark around 5 or 530. i was screwed. not to mention very cold. what a trip. you gotta love the little things in life. though everything about my trip home sucked. i better appreciate the little things i have now. i'm not just talking about heat in my car so i don't have to freeze though. i appreciate so much more. i appreciate everyone i come in contact with. i appreciate my friends more. i appreciate all the things that are available now that weren't 5 or 10 years ago. let alone what my parents or grandparents didn't have. maybe this all sounds stupid and pathetic but its not. appreciate everything you have. don't complain and say you have it rough because it could be worse. even if you do have it rough, know that there is someone out there or there has been someone who has had it worse than that. we are all lucky to be where we are. we've been put here to live our lives to the fullest. we aren't here to complain about how bad things are. i just drove 5 hours in the cold with a window down. but i don't care, i have been given the gift of life. its time for me to live it up how i was meant to. i just thought i should share this. hopefully atleast one person reads it and sees what i'm saying.

i saw a friend of mine i haven't seen for a while tonight while i was out. im glad they talked to me. tomorrow i am going home for thanksgiving break. turkey turkey turkey! you gotta love grandma's cooking. it's the best ever. today was orientation at work. you gotta love those corny videos they make you watch. you know the ones that look like they were made in 1972 with a home camcorder vhs style baby. so yes this is the most random entry ever. but you like it. you like it just like you like to umm...do something you really like to do. peace out homies! GOD BLESS!!!

so my life hasn't been the best. i've messed up and made my fair share of mistakes. i have a few friends though that i owe a lot of thanks too. i doubt they will ever read this, maybe one. but even then im not sure. lately though ive started to turn my life around. i want to be the person i was starting to be when i met the one person who changed my life. God is in control of so much and He is such a powerful Lord. my path of life used to be a stray one. my trust is fully in the Lord though and every day i pray for His guidance. my future is only going to contain the things that are placed there by not me but by God. everything is that simple. i have always had two choices in life: take His path, or take the stray one. i was best friends with someone for over two years and they showed me that. i was too stupid to realize what was being said until it was too late and the friendship was jeopordized. what i would do to have it back because i learned so much from this friend. and thats exactly what they would want to know happened. thank you HBB.

looks new. figured i would just do something clean. nothing to snazzy. my weekend...ehh it was alright, had better but ive also had worse. no class for me until 2 and its 9:57 what to do what to do? til next time this is chris signing off...

I think I shall come back and I think I shall redo this here diary of mine. The brain is getting kinda old.... input my friends?

RAINY DAY SPOONS!

I just learned that my Uncle Doug was born in Idaho. Isn't that neat? I mean Idaho. That is pretty cool if you ask me!!!

Let's talk about the WORST internet provider EVER! I don't even want to talk about it but NEVER get Charter. Even if you have to. Find a way around it. Their service sucks, their customer service sucks, they just suck. Nothing about it is good. I just spent the past 5 hours on the phone with like 7 different of their associates or whatever they are hearing the biggest load of B.S. I have ever had to hear. I wanted to just shoot myself. But yeah NO CHARTER!

Back at school. Man it's cool. Ok yeah that was stupid but...yes Chris is back at school. So much fun...right! Sorta sucks actually. Classes won't be so bad this semester but I'm not to sure I want to be here if that makes sense. I switched rooms with one of my roommates tonight. It really sucks because I had the biggest room in the apartment now I have the smallest. On top of that EVERYTHING is in my name so I shouldn't have switched with him. Oh well. Well I better get back to rearranging my new TINY room. Til then!

Vegas was fun. Didn't lose to much money. Well its off to bed, long drive ahead of me tomorrow. Night!