To whom it shall concern, You let my hand go and watched me fall. And now that I hit the bottom I have realized you never really had ahold of my hand at all... Ello. Well it has been over 20 days since I have writen. Wow, has it been fun? Ughl..not going there. Well lets see lets start at the last time I wrote. I think I shall go by dates... Wednesday August 24th - Friday August 26th(around 5p.m. ish) Nothing really just work till like Friday at noon. Then I went back to Mikes' and watched movies and played Video Games with him. Oh, and Mike, Steve, Tracy, and I disected a frog. And Steve put frog blood on my sweater. Y U C K!!! That was till like 4:30p.m. Then I went home to get ready to spend the weekend with Jen :) Friday, August 26th (5p.m. - like 2:30a.m.) Party at Joe D.s' house :D That was fun. I got there at like 6:30p.m. then they set off some small fireworks. That was fun, I caught a couple army men...lol. They're little figureines of army men that come down on a parachut after you set off the firework. I still have one in my pants. lol. My dad has washed it like 5 times. lmao. Then we stayed uptill like 2a.m. in the morning talking and stuff. It was fun though. Saturday, August 27th Woke up at 9ish helped clean up fireworks from the night before. Then made a donation box for the fireworks. Went back to Jens house to shower and get ready for the real party that night. Hehe, got back to Joe's and burned him real bad. I love my smart ass comments and I know that they do too:) I love them peoplex33 Then we had a really big dinner thing while people were still arriveing and getting and putting down MORE food. This one dessert thing was so effin good *drool* lol. Then we did fireworks. First me and Jen did like little ones. Well we handed the safe ones out to the younger children (5 - 12year olds) and helped them set them off... Then there were the big ones. They were so the best ones ever, ecspecially if you put on the 3-D glasses. Ooo, they were B E A Utiful:) Oh, and me and Jen handed out Jello shots the whole night. Omg was that fun. Jen was practically shoveing them down peoples throats and into there hands...lmao. We would walk past people and she would shove them into peoples hands. Hehe, we got them people D R U N K:) It was fun though: P Then after the fireworks the place started to clear out and we went to the camp fire. Haha, the things that go done there. Lets just say I saw two asses and they were NOT pretty : P Haha, it was effin hilarious though... Ahhh, good times! Went to bed around two or three in the morning... Sunday, August 28th Woke up around 7:30a.m. and went into the house to pee and found Jen's Uncle Jimmy on the futon about to barf and when I went into the bathroom I found puke in the toliet. All I have to say about that is EWW!!! lol. Then I went shopping with my mom and our elderly neighbor lady Betty. We went to the oakdale mall it was fun... I got lunch at Wendy's. I got one of those fruit bowl salads it was YUMMY! Then went home and got stuff ready for school. And then went to sleep... OH! I forgot about Bubba. lol. Bubba is one of Jen's parents childrens friends. Haha, he slept in our camper the last night and in the morning when me and Jen were up he was like makeing car noises in his sleep. lmfao. It was freaking priceless... Ahhh, more good times! Monday, August 29th FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!! It was aight. lol. I donno, just same old same old. nothing new just flet like we had a really long weekend and never had summer vaca... Tuesday, August 30th - Thursday, September 1st Absoluely nothing specail. That I remeber anyways... lol Friday , September 2nd - Saturday Semptember, 3rd (till noon) Had volleyball games. Well, scrimmages... They were ok. Didn't lose TOO badly... And I went to work Friday night before the VB game... Made $6. Yay! lol. Saturday, September 3rd (noon - whenever) - Monday Septemeber 5th Saturday went to Kaylas dad's house. Watched the Ring2 and Monster In Law. They were good. Haha, I scared Kayla SO bad in the Ring2. Lmao. It was funny. Was on the comp a bit and hun with Chels. Took pics all that nice stuff. Went back to good ole Lawton P.A. around 5p.m. Sunday night. Went to kaylas to stay the night till Monday at four. I was gonna go to the Wyoming county fair but, Kayla wanted me to come over so, I did. Tuesday, September 6th - Saturday September 10th (till 11a.m.) Nothing, just school and VB games.... FUN FUN! Saturday, September 10th - Sunday, September 11th Went to Kaylas and she got a new fourwheeler. We didn't do much saturday just sat around and stayed up late. The usual. And I had my Coke :) Haha, kayla took it away once cause when I drink Coke It makes me C R A Z Y... lol. And she thinks I act drunk. Haha. It's funny. Then the next day as you probally know it was september 11th. But, on a good note. Me and Kayla had ALOT of fun on the fourwheeler that day. Hehe. Then around 3:30p.m. we went up to play soccer with Steve and Mike. That was fun, some of it anyways... We so broke laws that day. Ahh, it was fucking hilarious. And we are so going to hell for it all...... Haha. Lets see we ran away from Sarah and Jessica and we went to a dead guys house. Not only did we go there but, we broke in.... through a window and then Me, Steve, Mike and Kayla hid in a closet and the worst of all is that the goverment was sappoise to be there that day to reposses the house... Ughl, I would have died if they started to take the house away with us in it.... Steve was like spazing out and giggling like a little girl. lmao. It was freaking hilarious and then Sarah and Jessica saw steve through the window and the look on Steves face when he saw here was priceless...ahhh, good times. Then we ran outta the house we went to the woods. After fighting with Jessica for like and hour we went and played some VB. That's when it got bad cause someone had to lie to me and thinks he could and it fucking pisses me off but I will get into that in a little bit... Monday, September 12th - Thursday, September 15th Nothing monday or wednesday that I can remeber. lol. Tuesday and Thursday had VB games. Lost... yea and that leads me to.... TODAY!!! Friday, September 16th Today was crappy. So hasn't this whole week. Erguhlsmurfs.... It's just been all around bad. Lots has happened. The biggest thing is people still lie to me... and it hurts. And then I get mad at them and feel like I push them away and I just wanna cry. Have you ever felt like the one person you thought you knew you never really did? Well yea that's how I feel right now. I feel like I don't matter anymore and that it was all a waste of time. I feel freaking dumb and betrayed and stupid and every other word to describe a bad thing...Ughl today I just wanted to like break down and cry but, I held it together :( Ughl.... Anyways, after school I went to the VB open gym thinger.... It was alot of fun. Ooo, and the one guy there. I am so not gonna mention his name cause people read this and I wouldn't want him to, lmao. But, he was "WOW" lol. Ahh, also I found out other stuff. Like how dumb I am to think that someone (a guy) wasn't really my friend and pretty much just talked about me behid my back and was a asshole. Atleast I don't have to deal with that anymore... It still pisses me the fuck off since I was dumb enough to think that he was my friend and he wasn't.... I guess you could say that hurts too. Ughl. Just all about the hurt this week. Theres alot more but, I sall not go into that. I don't even want to thik about it. Anyways, I am super tired and emotionally drained so I think I am gonna go to sleep or something. Night. ♥.·:**:·.♥♥♥.·:**:·.♥ ♥.·:**:·.♥♥♥.·:**:·.♥ ♥*:. J O H..N N A.:*♥ ♥.·:**:·.♥♥♥.·:**:·.♥ ♥.·:**:·.♥♥♥.·:**:·.♥