by faiith09
Listening to: *Bush/not the president lol*
--Guys im in the process of writing a short story thing--
SO be sure to keep updated! By the way-This is all made up..
Leave coments for ides for a Title
------------Chapter One---------------
Warm tears slowly slide down my cheeks, as i taste the previous tear on my lips.Index finger pressed against the top of the blade, pressing down as hard as i possibly can handle as my thoughts and memories flash past my eyes, i watch as the blade sinks into my flesh as now i feel releived.Blood dripping into the sink.I turn the faucet water up on high, so the cries of my pain arnt heard.My morning cut is now in the past as i look forward to the next slit.
Alex my little sister is having her birthday party today.She envited ten friends,eight came.As she opened each of her presents a smile was wiped across that adorable face of hers. As the last present,which was from me was handed to her,she quickly shreds the wrapping.Her big blue eyes widen as she runs into my arms, repeatedly thanking me. I had gotten her the puppy notebook she had asked for, ya know the kind with the cheap lock and keys.That was the happiest and most content i had been for awhile.
Alexs friends were being picked up by their parents.I was at that moment thanking god that Donna(my mom) never came home,as i knew as well as Alex knew this party would have been a disaster.Come to find out i spoke to soon.Alex and her friend Kelly ran into her bedroom to play with Alexs new toys,Kelly was spending the night.Donna came pulling into the drive way, acting drunk and fucked up as usual. She slams the door, stumbles up the stairs as she falls to the ground and asks me to help her up.I walk over to her, look at her in the eyes, right then and there as always i want to just beat the hell out of her,but i lend her my hand and help her up into the livingroom.She lays on the couch with eyes toatlly wacked and smells like beer and crack. I ignore her and go strait into the kitchen to make dinner, as i prepare dinner i hear Donna call Alex down.As you hear quick little footsteps fly down the stairs, she stands infront of Donna as if she was standing infront of a marine. Donna screams asking her why hasnt she cleaned her room.Alex innocently says "Mom how do you know i didnt clean my room you havent been home all day", Donna tells her you know better enough not to talk disrespectfully to me as that leads to a swing to the face.I quickly run into the living room and wrestle down Donna as at this point she is beating the daylights out of ALex.Through all of this, Kelly has been sitting on the stairs watching the whole time crying , not knowing this was a daily rutine of ours. Once i get Donna off of Alex, she looks at me as though she could kill me right there. I tell Alex to go to her room, as she obeys holding her face with pain.
Donna strikes at me as i just block what she thinks i deserve.Thats all i seem to do, just block,hide, run..whichever is the easiest.Once all her anger is taken out on my body she passes out on the couch.Alex and Kelly are now upstairs as ALex cant help but cry Kelly is comforting her holding her in her arms saying "Its ok im here".
I finish cooking and call the kids down to eat.Dinner was very quiet.The only words passed was,"do you want more"?When dinner and the dishes are done, i walk to my room blaring the music and lock the door. The erge to cut is unbeleivable. I walk to my dresser drawr, open to where my blades in a little box lay.Those blades are like pills,they're so addicting.I take the first that catches my eye and walk to my bed where i sit there uncontrollably shaking in the fetal position. I roll my long sleved shirt up and look for the best place to cut, my skin is covered with gashes and scars. Once i find an open area, i jab the tip of the razor into my arm and slice away as much as i possibly could of my pain.My pillow gets the mess, once im done i just slip off the cover and throw into the laudry.
The next day in school i meet up with Jamie and as always ask how her weekend was. She seems to always have a decent thing going on, this weekend she said she went tubing with her cousins.Jamie knows how my life is.Last year one night she was sleeping over, it ws during the winter sometime,and as usual we had no heat.I hadnt gotten my paycheck so we had to cope with what we had. I had ALex sleep over a friends house.Donna came home yelling about how cold her hands and feet were.I told her i hadnt gotten my check and that the last money that we had she took to her boyfriends to give to him.Darrel was a total ass, he was a druggie, he was dirty, and was only with her for sex.We all knew it, even she did.After i had told Donna that she took the last of the money, i knew that i was in for it so i told Jamie to go to my room and i will be right up.I got a hell of a beating that night, she burnt be with the cigerette she had in her hand, then once the cigerette was out, thats when the beatings started.Jamie heard it all upstairs.I tried my best to keep as quiet as possible,but the pain was to awful for me not to scream.
After that fight, i ran to my room got the box of razors, went to the bathroom and did what seemed to be the best.I sliced into each and every bruise that she left on my body.Jamie happened to walk in to see if i was ok while i was in the process of cutting myself.She just looked surprised as hell and just stood there in shock as she saw i was covered in blood, she dropped to my feet and balled her eyes out.After that night of staying up talking to her, i thought maybe i should try to stop.I tryed, i really did, i tried as best as i could.Like i said cutting is like a drug, ur addicted, its all you know how to do, its all you can control.That is the ONLY pain u can control, u can control how deep, the length of time of the pain, everything.Its the only time u feel as though your in control.....
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