well my high has run out nd my drunkeness so i can now write this diary.its beeeeeeeeeeennnnnnn a long long time since i wrote in this thang.So much has happend that yall need to knoe about.For the ppl that knoe me,yall all knoe that me nd britney have known each other our whole lives which is 19 years but only been in love for 8 nd dated for 3 nd we have an 8 yr old son.We juss got married a few weeks ago nd now the Ashley-Britney Saga is over.Me nd Britney are done nd will never ever ever get back together,i mean i love her but there aint enough love to keep puttin up wit wut shes put me through nemore.I shouldve done this a long time ago.Im droppin outta college..it aint for me.Im quttin my job at abercrombie&fitch nd im juss gonna do my own thang fo a while.BUT MOST OF ALL IM SINGLE baybee,,nd its bittersweet but its about time i dont feel so burdened by Love.But lately it seems like everybodys takin there exs back nd im now like the only single one..it sucks but im gonna be alright.Last night i actually cried nd im not a cryer but i cried more last nite than i have in my whole life.Uhhh im aggravated because ive put my whole heart into 1 relationship that i thought would last a lifetime but it only lasted for a total of 8 years wit our on nd offs nd for it to juss all die like this.Ive done everythang for britney,i was there wen she gave birth at 12 nd i was therre wen her nd her friends got caught in a fire nd it was me that saved her life,nd wen she got the shit beat out of her by sum girls nd was left fo dead it was me who saved her life again nd again nd agian..ive gotten shot,stabbed,beat up,lost friends,done time,bought her cars nd houses nd jewlrey nd made my whole life about her but shes still not satisfied.Well wuts done is done nd i cant go back but i knoe i gave blood sweat nd tears nd all my heart but ill never forgive her nd ill never take her back nd i hope she never comes runnin to me wit her shit cos it aint my problem no more.but i hate puttin devin through all this shit...Neways to get off of that..heaven and angel r finally sayin more words than daddy and uh oh..its so cute cos now therre startin to cuss..i mean its better than nothin.But dont yall juss love em..if it wasnt for them then i dunno wutd i do..my kids are my life nd they make living worth it.my gamas condition is fine but its cas whos now sick.I dont even wanna talk about his condition but i knoe that hes gonna b fine nd if yu kneo wut happened then yu knoe that he needs all the prayers in the world.Ive been talkin to britney lately but i wasnt able to for a while cos i was in the hospital...i got in a car accident because i once again decided to drive drunk as if i aint learn from my first lesson when mike clark was killed.Shaff gets me through nethang but lately i jusss seem as if i wanna be by myself nd push everybody away.But time for sum good news...uhhhhhhhhh..mmm well i cant think of ne..so i guess ill write n this thang later.