I have nothing to do. I'm supposed to be doing something with Faith tomorrow so that should be really cool because I haven't hung out with her in a while. Come to think of it, I haven't hung out with anyone in a while. My friend told me "Why don't you go out with friends or get out of the house anymore?" I wish I could say I knew but the fact is, everyone grew up has different goals than I do. I really only want to chill and I hate spending the night at peoples house. Why does the subject always come back to this. Its killing me. I'm going crazy. At least when I didn't have anything to do I would go out with Vanessa. Now, she has a better life and I can't be apart of it. Man fuck it. ______________________________________________ Drivers ed is on Friday and then Jessica is supposed to come up on Friday evening til Sunday which will be cool if it works out. I'd like it if Faiths mom could drive me to school. I really don't feel like riding the bus and plus this would give me and Faith more time to talk everyday. I would understand if her mom thought it was out of line to ask but a person can hope...right? Jahmal is supposed to be coming back for summer school. Oh the joy of it all. Part of me wants him to come up to me so that I can yell at him. Part of me wants him to have forgotten who I am. I don't know what I want more. But neither of those things will probably happen. He will probably come back and recognize me and I will drool all over him because no matter how bad I know he is for me and how he is a horrible person I think I will always like him simply for the fact that I think he is the cutest guy I have seen in a while. Besides the obvious... Except I haven't seen him in a while I still know he looks the same and then Ashton and the idiot chris will be all over it. Its just that everything that came out of Jahmals mouth was a lie. I don't know why I ever believed him the only thing that he wnted out of me was sex and deep down I knew that but I was kinda okay with it because I was sad and lonely. Deeper down I know that I really don't want to do that with anyone who has sex with their stepsister. So yes these are my thoughts on Jahmal. This case is closed and I hope I never have to open it again or I will probably fall into the same patterns. Ok, I think that I am done for a while. Ciao *S*