I feel like so much is wrong right now. My sister woke up today and she was really sick and I guess she is peeing blood and throwing up. I think she has a kidney infection but I don't know. I'm really afraid for her. I don't know what I would do if I lost her. Last night Bryan and I had a talk and he said that he thinks that we are going too fast and that he wants to slow down but he still wants to be with me, and that he didn't have to see someone everyday to know what he has and I don't know what I'm doing because I feel like all we are is friends with benefits and that is not something that I need in my life right now. He ask what I thought and I told him that I wanted to stay with him even through this because I liked him that much. and he was like why? and I was like...well do you want me to break up with you? and he was like "No I don't. I just don't know why you are sacrificing so much of who you are for me." I don't know why either... I got my report card yesterday and I don't know. I got horrible grades and I'm so disapointed in myself. My mom said that it wouldn effect my getting a car, but I really don't care about that very much. I wanted a better curfew than 11 o'clock but I don't know if that is going to happen anymore. Everything seems so horrible right now. I'm afraid and sad and upset and I don't know what to do with myself.