hey This is part 2 of yesterday's entry, called come out and play. It may be worth reading just to get a feel for what on earth I'm talking about. So that was busy Friday. Prior to actually hosting the shows I had to go do some shopping, and had two vicious bastards steal my parking bays which I was waiting for; and both of them told me to go fuck myself when I sort-of pointed out "Er... I was waiting for that, you bastard." But since there are cameras all over the parking lots at our swanky mega-mall, I was not able to kick the shit out of either of them - something which would have been easy to accomplish, bearing in mind that I am a karate instructor these days. That, and the two separate incidents involved an old couple in their 70s (filthy old man, swearing at me like that) and a stupid fat guy with his wife and a small baby. I could have kicked the shit out of all five of them, I tell you! And I was going to let the air out of the fat guy's tyres and scratch the old man's pickup truck with my key, but again, the cameras are everywhere and I would have been arrested on the spot for vandalism. So I was obliged to grin and take it, although in my psychosis I did memorise car makes, models and registration plates, so I will track them down eventually. I have a mate who works with the DMV, you see, so revenge is still an option. Busy Saturday began with me flat on my back, enjoying some eleven (count 'em!) hours of sleep. So technically busy Saturday only began at around 11am Saturday, when I finally dragged myself from bed and attempted to sort-of start the day. My mom and I did some "recycling" - in our case, that involves going into the garage and racking up a goodly supply of empty Coke bottles to return. They give you back two bucks a bottle here in .za; which is not that much in foreign money. Think 30c in Yank money and about 20p in Sterling. However, we normally cash them in at a big warehouse-type supply store - there are surpirsingly many of those here in Cape Town - and then immediately head into said megawarehouse's liquor department and buy exotic drinks for the house. Pimms No. 1, Cinzano, various flavours of alcopops (or bitch-juice, as they call it in the UK) and a bottle of champagne and suchlike. For those nights where mere CocaCola (to which we are all horribly addicted) just does not cut it, you understand; we're not utter pisscats or anything. Anyway, whilst on the way home, my phone rings and it's me old mucker Craig the other accountant who is keen to go watch The Punisher and then go out boozing afterwards. So we kinda did. Andrew, the poetic accountant, would not be caught dead at violent graphic-novel adaptations such as The Punisher (although he did go for X-men, Spiderman and The Hulk), bailed to go to work, but volunteered to meet us afterwards for the boozefest. Well, Andrew being Andrew then managed to convince us to rather opt for caffeine and pe-caaaaaaaan pie, which for some reason he always drags out the a on and adopts his version of a Georgia twang every time he mentions it. Craig balked at the idea of pecan pie ("Dude, you can get it at Edgemead Spar! For half the price that they sell it at Primi, and for a whole trough of it, not just the Primi pisswilly one, either" spot the accountant) but did volunteer for the Mugg and Bean's super mammoth cappuccino (and yea, for it is large) and a chunk of their carrot cake, which also tips the scales at something approaching a small bus. I went for the bottomless coffee (and managed 5 mugs worth buzzbuzzbuzz) and a small nation's worth of lemon meringue with ice-cream. All this in the wake of the sheer carnage and shallow disregard for life which is The Punisher, and is rather good, too. And we shot the shit about stuff, and made stupid bets, and more importantly, convinced Andrew that he wanted to drive us to the Offspring show the following night, a.k.a... Busy Sunday was actually not all that busy. I did go to culture and feed my little children; and my family, annoyed that I had gone for cake'n'coffee without them, insisted on taking me back to the Mugg and Bean for round 2 (this time, though, I went for the affogato - espresso, ice cream, steamed milk foam and honey - and a date and nut muffin), and then I managed a quick session at the gym before joining some ten thousand people in the moshpit at the Offspring gig. Let it be known that moshing has never really been my thing. Not even back in the heyday of moshing in the early 90s during the demise of the then-called grunge movement in Seattle where I cut my proverbial teeth. The trouble, though, with the Offspring moshing was that you couldn't get out of it. The show was held in the Velodrome - basically an Olympic sized cycling venue built for when we hosted some or other cycling championship about 6 years ago and back when Cape Town was bidding for the 2004 Summer Olympics which were recently held in Athens. Anyway, apart from the actual cycling track - that weird, cambered oval - there are grandstands and whatever inside and so it is ideal as a concert venue. It has hosted such diverse elements as Alanis Morissette, the Counting Crows (twice), Live (also twice), Sting (he's been here twice, but was only at the Velodrome once), Ronan Keating, KC and JoJo, UB40 (also once butt they've come twice), Simply Red and others and next year will play host to REM and (allegedly) the Chili Peppers. They split the standing area into the VIP/Golden Circle area and the general standing area in a ratio of 30:70 and the seats are split into Golden Circle (which means if you get bored of sitting you can mosey out of the stands and sown into the golden circle), general sitting (so you can mosey into general standing if you get tired of sitting) and cheap seats. The trouble, though, was that the moshpit started right in the front of the Golden Circle standing area and went right to the back of the general standing area, as well as into the seated areas on the right hand side and rear of the venue. So, short of making for the exit right at the start of the show, you were in the moshpit. Not a good idea when the floor is an inch deep in beer and broken trodden-on cups and plastic bottles and the venue is full to capacity. And that the crowd were whipped into a frenzy by having the Finkelsteins (fun blink182-esque local punk band) open and the Nude Girls also thrown in for support, with each soundcheck and break inbetween acts peppered with the house lights coming up and the three cameramen filming and broadcasting to the giant screens alongside the stage convincing the girls in the audience to get their boobs out. Actually, they just had to convince the first one - all the others did it without even being asked. It all got a bit Pavlovian in the end, when they showed some little boy of about 10 on his dad's or older brother's shoulders on the big screen and he immediately lifted his shirt as well... I'm guessing that somewhere in his conscious the seed has been sown and he's undoubtedly thinking of _not_ being a racing driver or jet pilot when he grows up and his instead considering the Chippendales. Helped to pass the time, I suppose... still, as soon as The Offspring came out, the moshing started. Left there some four hours after arriving a little dazed, a little deaf, a lot wet and reeking of beer (one of the best things to do at any Cape Town show is to drink half your beer and throw the rest of it across the stadium onto unsuspecting audience members - hence the inch of beer on the floor. Very popular pasttime, although, again, not really my thing). All in all, a good time was had by just about everybody, I think, and the Offspring were godlike in their magnificence. They've been playing together for over a decade, and it shows. The stage show is slick, the musicians are really tight with each other, and they are sounding better then ever, even if they do look a little weatherbeaten these days. And they played everything you could possibly think of, which is a good thing to do on your first visit to a new country, I reckon. The Smashing Pumpkins failed to do that, and then split up - there's a lesson in there somewhere, guys. Monday and Tuesday were kinda busy too, but just in a oh-shit-its-time-to-work kind of way. Rock on! Or something. -d-