ok, im dedicating this entry to joanna. that might seem incredibly weird to everybody else in the world, but i was thinking back tonight (i dont do that very often anymore) and i realized that i wouldnt even have this diary if God hadnt placed joanna in my life. a couple weeks back i found the napkin that Grant wrote on over a year ago. 'www.sitdiary.net/danyou' is what it said in plain, pencil lead. thats what started almost a year of writing all of my hurts and inner agonies of life into this thing. somehow, its easier to sometimes write things out than it is to talk to with somebody. i never knew that a year ago. Joanna started that. i owe her big for that. i would have grown in a totally different way without her presence in my life. she started this diary and even after she left my life, the memory of her kept me writing. funny how God works these things. i cared about her, then i crushed myself over her, then i wanted to die because of her, then i wrote for her, now i respect her. i wonder if God changed her life with my presence too...? does she ever look back on things like i do? ha, i wonder if im delusional. either way, this entry is for joanna. a tribute to the difference she made in my life and the effect my getting into this diary has made on me. for all of that, thank you joanna.