and to think even though ive left it alone time and time and time and year again. it still rests here. like some haunting phantom of a thing i almost forgot during some drugged out night where i play the typical dopeslut. i think i should take some time to wander around and read. did i mention i have my nipples pierced? again. with the insanity. -alexander the great?

in the shower is a slippery mess. trust me. surely. im alive. barely. i promise.

so i walked into the hospital around 3ish in the morning the other day and the nurse almost refused me service until i began spewing forth all of the booze i had consumed throughout the day. I'M A HEAVY DRINKER AT TIMES. of course after passing out and hitting the floor she [the nurse] has apparently no choice but to directly seek assistance and allow my companions [some weird long-haired guy named curtis and his friend brennon] to promptly sign me in. these fellas' i of course recently just met at the local dive bar where i had spent most of sunday and the rest of tuesday night before calling it "QUITS." DONT STOP ME. PLEASE. ITS A LOVELY STORY. I ALMOST SINCERELY PROMISE. no really, its all much to long to get into but lets just say i was 'drinking away my sorrows' a bit too heavily this past week. to make matters worse i dont really have any sorrows to account for. just the regular issues i seem to go through from time to time where my life becomes almost horrendously boring and i must at any cost find a way to 'spice it up' a bit. i am alive. and well. and happy. but. i am missing a large amount of cash. one awesome stolen bowling shoe. and four teeth.

i/d like to think this was a phase. this loser-ness i/ve stumbled into. i/d like to think leander/s right with his "hang in there/s" and his "straighten up" shenannigins. but. i/d also like to think that dinosaurs will return one day. it doesn/t make it true. btw: sorry i don/t feel like real punctuation or capitalization today. it/s been quite a long week or so. i/m a bit unsure seeing as i spent most of it on uppers and uppers always make the time FLY BY. very VERY very VERY fast. and then of course you crash SLAM down. i won/t complain though because i got the chance to spend more time in L to the A and LAS to the VEGAS. A NICE VACATION SHOULD ALWAYS BE ENJOYED SO STRESS CAN BE REDUCED AND OLD FLAMES RE-TOTHE-UNITED. trust me. --------------------------------- so back in town now. not even 24 hours and i/m already in trouble with the FAMILIA. apparently i killed my sisters dog. how i/m not even particularly fucking sure, but i did. and as malicious as that sounds i don/t think i really plotted or planned to do such a thing. the last time i remember seeing the bastard we were in the backyard sharing a nicely rolled blunt and some cheetos. what dog dies from such things? what kind of weak bastard keels over from cheetos? i guess i should mention the dog was about a million goddamn years old and still my sister calls me with the "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO JAMES?" monologue. which i promptly answered by "WHO THE FUCK IS JAMES?" and then after explaining that she had changed marxies name to james it became clear...it was the dog she was concerned about. don/t mind though. my older sister is HIGHstrung minus the awesome HIGH part. she/s a ball of nerves who constantly needs pathetic reassurance of her "SKILLS." of which she has none...not even as a mother. but she requires the daily dose of "DEAR YOU/RE WONDERFUL" or "YOU/RE A GOOD MOTHER." even though her children are nuerotic little over achievers. sorry venting. so now i apparently somehow owe my sister $1500 some odd money for some ancient dog who probably only had the best time with the weed and cheetos that i supposedly killed. really. don/t the rich have more concerns to fight about then some walking skeleton dog who wasn/t loved until he died anyway? i dislike my family very much. trust me. --------------------------------------- oh well. it/s early and i/m wasted so i think i/ll watch a little day-time tellie and then maybe take a nap before starting my new job at my father/s friend/s place. LORD HELP ME. i/m going back to drugs. sincerely. mister alahondro.

And Merlot make an unlikely team. A team of renegades if you will. And I'm so broke tonight that I'm pathetically attempting to rile a faint high from Merlot. 16.5% alcohol content...and I'm trying my damndest to make it count. The salty bland taste does nothing for the imagination. I'd like to picture this as a bottle of nicely chilled Vodka or a few rough shots of warm Rum. Speaking of Rum...never let your mind wander too far when enjoying the beverage. I've never come so close to suicidal thoughts as I have on those rare occasions I actually decide Rum isn't so dangerous. It does evil things to certain minds...my mind definitely being one of those. Trying to drink yourself out of a pill-stooper-full-on-depression is not the route you should take...trust me. This I know for sure. I've run out of oxys and now spend my lazy days dreaming up schemes on how to score some more. I don't even really like them...but I find scoring drugs an easier job then an actual occupation. My Uncle refuses to rehire me, my father's too busy nailing his secretary to set up an interview with me, and well my only other prospect is going back to the porn store...for some reason I can score those jobs easier then anything else I've ever tried. Maybe it's my come-hither sexuality or maybe it's the fact that I don't mind going into a 15 minute discussion on why the mammoth-14incher-(only in black and pink of course) is much better then the stealth-like-10incher-dildo-(respectfully done to resemble the most life like of life like penises). Or would it be PENI...due do plural-ness? Either way...I look forward to those conversations more then I actually look forward to anything else in my days lately. This is long and drawn out...I think I'll go down some more wine in my getting-wasted-attemps and come back with better material then reality. Word. Check. Check. 14incher anyone? -alexander the meander

With no real ending. I was visiting my grandmama today and realized just how easy I have it. She told me those good ol' stories about how she had to walk 13million miles to school barefoot with no books and in 4 feet of snow, which of course covered her up to her waist. And then we played connect 4 which was weird for me...but fun. She won of course...honestly. I didn't even have to fake a loss. She won 14 out of 15 times and the last I think she threw in because of pity. ----------------------------------- I spent the night thinking about whatshername and wondering why I'm so confused about it all. Why am I such a dick to every person who's ever taken an interest in me? And then I realized...it's them not me. Afterwards, I read David Sedaris and realized he's Chuck Palahniuks long lost even more twisted brother. ---------------------- I was supposed to go to work today, but again I called out. I've taken to laying across the couch downing oxys, eating reese cups, and drinking old bargain brand vodka in between commercials. I've mastered the art of downing candy and liquor at once. I'll tell you from experience it isn't easy on the tumtum. ----------------------------------- Have you ever seen Lucy Daughter of the Devil? I suggest you watch it, Christian or not. I love it. I usually find cartoons bothersome, except for Spongebob, but I must admit this is the toon for me. -------------- She doesn't like my new haircut and I don't like her new shoes. I made it a point to tell her so. She said we can't start dating again so soon because I hurt her last time. I accept that...so I'm moving on. I don't put too much work into a MAKEUP thing, because I don't like hard work. It's easier to find some whore who'll take you as you are. But. Don't take my word for it. -------------------------- Do you like the rambling? I think I'll keep it. I'm especially bored tonight. It's Friday and I should be out, could be out, but only people I don't like have called me. So that leaves me tied. I need to go wash my hair...excuse me. Bitches. Sincerely, The One They Call Alexio

don't worry it isn't a real word: wiends. it would be nice if it was though. then i could give it my very own definition like: wiends: pronounced (wee-ind-z) noun. pronoun. adjective. meaning: to anoculate pregnancy before the elephant is capable of drinking more sugar then that one guy who jumped across the lake, or to steal from a small child while screaming obscentities. aw that would be sweet. trust me. ------------------------------- i'm up late. my boss has called at least 14 times and has left only 11 messages. it bothers me when things aren't equal...he could've at least left 3 more blank messages, you know those awesome ones people leave where they breathe a moment or two and then slam down the phone. he could've at least done that for me. FATBASTARD. well...he is. REMEMBER KIDS: it isn't mean as long as it's true. so the next time you see that ugly fat girl walking down the street and you say some thing like: "oh man that chick is fucking ugly and fat." and then the person in your company says: "thats like so totally mean." you can say: "it ain't mean if it's the fucking truth." (feel free to substitute ain't for isn't or to leave out the word: fucking). ---------------------------------- i think i'll quit my job today. i'm tired of it. i'm not a good car salesman anyway. i always end up telling them the truth about crash statistics or engines blowing up. why? because. i've read the reports and find it enetertaining when i tell them that their precious family could be blown up in seconds. they always think twice about the shiney minivan. if anything i like to think of myself as an environmental activist. less cars on the road = less pollution. and you're welcome. ----------------------------- right now i need a shower because i smell like cheap booze, cigarette smoke, and whore. so excuse me while i bathe. but feel free to imagine me in the shower. word. bitches. -sincerely. the original sin alexander

no, you can't spin butter. not on a stick, not lying on the table, and not even on top of a TOP. butter is just too stubborn. i have studied extensively in this area...so trust me. ------------------------------ forget the girl. that lady i was typing about. gone and gone. because you know, i really can't be bothered with such strong devotion nor committment. it's just too heavy. of course this i had to explain and come off once again as the "bad guy," the "fuck-face," and the "asshole." and those are only a few of the nick-names her parents had for me. aww...romance. -------------------------- so...the other night (maybe last night) i got heavily stoned and ended up watching this awesome killer bunny horror movie. it's just a little b-rated film called THE NIGHT OF THE LEPUS. yes, that is really the title. please, if you're an avid horror movie fan like me, please, check it out. some-where, some-how. ----------- i spent the day alphabetically organizing my cd's (compact discs) and dvd's (digital video discs). some-times i have fun with OCD. because OCD has fun with me. --------- i need a nap. sincerely sleepy. alex-boy.

it was her not me. or maybe it still is her and not me. she won/t take a chance on me. she doesn/t trust my type of personality. or popularity. i go out too much. i drink too much. i love drugs too much. and she avoids the previously mentioned. she/s basically a saint. and i am nothing but corrupt. it isn/t religious. she just doesn/t trust my type of rest or activities. i can/t blame her. but at the same time i do. -------------------------- FUCK relationships. i/m obviously not good at them at this moment. i/m better at drinks and lounging. rubbing elbows with people who believe they/re actually important. and so is high-society. ------------------------------ i need to move away from my parentalunits. they/ve taken right back to catering to me. see-ing to my every need. and it/s more then annoying. aw. but i should not complain. for they are paying for my recovery. or better yet my re-introduction to the real world. long story short. never visit family when you/re experiencing a mental break down. they cry. they take the blame. you allow them of course. and they try to make a "mends" of the entire situation. ------------------ right now i/m rambling. so please remember that while reading anything i write. it may or may not be truth. but closer to sci-fi. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. bacardi 151 does not mix well with meds. first rule of my thumbs. sincerely without conviction -alexander the destroyer of worlds

i knew this girl. or THIS GIRL. who had the most beautiful browneyes. and the worst girl-sense i/ve ever seen. or SCENE. she was pretty snf i mean PRETTY in that way that most girls lack these days. oval-square face. with large almond shaped eyes. and dimples that could kill. in a second. she had wit and too much strength. sarcasm was her art. and i/m in love with it. unfortunately... damn her. and damn me. for playing along. all of the time. these past few weeks. i/m confused beyond words. and part of me selfishly believes i could do better. but only because she/s not blonde and a size 0. does it matter. i don/t know. in my real heart i would like to think so. but knowing her. i know enough. damnit. wasn/t i gay? i don/t get it. at all. damn you el-rizza. and damn me. -sincerely. -alahandro the awesomely lost

case of? most likely. ALEXANDER/S MOOD RECIPE -------------------------------- Ingredients: 1/2 cup of horniness 1 tsp of complete rage 1 bottle of voddie 1 bottle of bacardi 151 1/4 cup of self-loathing 1 cup of sway 1 cup of broken hand 1/2 lb of beef -------------- now slowly stir in all ingredients while blasting heavily obnoxious music while all of your friends are in the next room annoying the hell out of you in no real way but accomplishing it nonetheless. bake for 15 to 20 minutes or until i am completely about to freak out. ---------------------------------- i dont know what my issue is. but its there. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. ALEXANDER THE MISANTHROPE

jytcvuytviyvbt oiuniunin ubi ubiuybuyviutvc uy uiybukctewzewz kjhbkjhb. iuhi uhdefvvvfr uliui jiiuhfmn. ewzrewzre ubyooi yhvu uyu6yf8 bv nvn, kjo, bion, knoio jyhvucvgc. jyb jkbkjbzewewae jhbvcnb mvbhvuuk kvyyi98. iouhi hohouh fxgfx ghvhgch5 hvnvjh7 jhvjhw ewaswsrrrez. gviytc jhgcs fdxfgd ytrf bh jhgjhu8 7gycu nkjhn j08. igtyg vyutvy vycy vvgvfxqw. lo8ih9phj!!!!! 656f5 jgyfcy 87698 ccgfxderxcjj. uyfi bjuht cvjghc gk vchgcyit jhvhvnyu fs63s7yyf8u rdxyr665 ru66s764sg yti 5975 dcud idi ifygfi7 diutdi7 djgdi iu7di7 i yf. iuhuyfy 678 vkuvo8u cgcy799 ck98hvkv buy b mggu jyhtd765 gvku 86rf jhx43232 r76gcyd i7rku i76fy67 i7r67 kgtdfjhf. uyfu uyfuy iu bnkhgcvuyrt fxr iytiytt c5tsy576. vuviu s5e7 iyu ghgv vyhbl ghlig vlv 787hvou8 hgyhgv vhg goo uyfu 87756 iiio vittrdu6r, ufuyv!!! sincerely: -alexander the awesome purple people eater.

well... WHAT CAN I SAY? i cum and i go farrrrrrrrr tooooooooo offfften these months and weeks and days? mid-evening-superbowl. WHERE ARE YOU? i/m viisiting my deardeardear brother and attempting to fain interest in this event. and yes i am still alive. barely. of course. -------------------------- UPDATE: i/ve been to california and i/ve been back to new york and right now i/m in philidelphia and loathing it and tomorrow i/m off to seattle for another day of my older sister/s coddling and complaining and after that i/m back to new york for some memory-walks with the folks who don/t necessarily hate me at the moment but don/t mistake that for loving me and then i/m at a loss and completely lost as to what or where i am headed. time bids me everywhere at once. *i have no apartment. *i after 3 months of bickering i decided i need no girlfriend or at least the one i had anydays. (she got the apartment in the break-off). *i am not employed. my income comes from an unusual number of sources including leander. *i am not in the mood for maturity or responsibility which explains a lot of my problems. etc. ETC. etc. -------------------------------- now i/m doomed watching some horrible movie on comedy central and wondering if (whoever controls the time slots or show settings) actually thoughT this was FUNNY? i hope not. i reallyreally hope not. you know what i need. a myspace. where my face can be put on display for tomorrow and the next day. i think i/ll investigate this. as of now. word? up? sincerely. -alexander the magnificent.

i would/ve done it to if the nurse hadn/t refused to let me keep my own fat. i just wanted a little-itty-bitty jar of it to keep as a momento. she refused me my own fat? insane. what is the world coming to? and where is it going after that? okay. here/s the 4-11. i/ve relocated. i don/t live in ny or nv any longer. and haven/t for a moment. my location now is T.O.P S.E.C.R.E.T i/m being held in protective services until further notice. why? i can/t tell you why. how long will i be here? i can/t and haven/t been told how long i will be here. it/s all C.L.A.S.S.I.F.I.E.D until further notice. ----------------------------------------- i/d be impressed if that were true. ------------ i have a girlfriend. don/t lose hope ladies i don/t plan on keeping this one around forever. i/m beginning to think she may be mildly retarded. I KID. a little. she wants me to move in. but i don/t think the girl i/m living with now would still support me financially if i were to move in with some other woman. and that right there is the problem. i might have to get a job. ------------------------- so yea. are there still old old old long ago regulars on here? i used to have fans and be the fan of some. word. sincerely nude alexander-the-best-damn-lay-ever-despite-whatever-julia-says-bitch p.s. for a dear love of mine...or at least lust... This _____________ while my parents were in town I _________ in while they were _________ with ____________ and some __________ and then there was some sort of _________ thing and i __________ and then passed out.

because sense is far too expected. chickens can/t fly because god hates chickens. (the same for penguins too). spiders exist only to scare girls or weepish-pussified-men. crocodiles have 5 toes on each claw. ------------------- A Bad Cat Died Electrocuted From Great Heights In Jacksonville Kentucky Luminating Many Noses Open Past Quiet Reasonable Season Time Unknown Very Well Xcept You. go ahead see how easy it is. bitches. ------------------------------------ "there is only one man and his name is ralph." --------- this is what happens when you take too many things at once. or twice at once. or thrice at once. it all gets jumbled. and mumbled. -------------------------- i once knew a girl named jill. she once fell down a hill. she did not die. so down that hill i climbed. 3 shots later there she lies. oh i/m so kidding. -------------------------------------- i walk around kicking over trash cans some nights. it/s rather fun to hear the noise. when i/m really bored i try kicking over cars. but i just end up hurting myself. ------------- nothing to do. nothing to do. no one to do. nothing to do. nothing to do. nothing to do. no one to do. nothing to do. nothing to do. no one to do. nothing to do. no one to do. nothing to do. nothing to do. how about you? --------------------------------------- it/s been a long day.

ALRIGHT. ENOUGH. so i was walking home the other day...down our little dirty back alley and ran into this very fraile-tired-dirty little old man and we began to have a brief and quiet chat about how lovely the day was and about how sad he was to have no place to live. so of course i being the great and sensitive young man that i am actually this time took out my wallet to give this poor little old man some cash...for drugs or booze or a hooker maybe whatever it was that he needed to take his little old mind off of being homeless... so while im proceeding to hand this little old man a few crisp dollar bills...the old bastard side blinds me with the bag or fucking bricks he mustve been carrying and WHAM im down and my wallet is G-O-N-E. whats the lesson of this little tale? FUCK OLD HOMELESS PEOPLE...THEYRE BASTARDS. SERIOUSLY. the one time i actually try to do anything NICE it ends with me getting 10 stitches to the side of my pretty little head. "I swear if I ever find you WALTER!" ----------------------- SO HOWS THE SEX-IN? OR THE LIV-IN? ------------- its to the point where i kindasorta forget i still have this little diary o' mine. ive been busy HUSTLIN' and BUSTLIN' and working on my new career as a halfcrazyitalianwhateverelse rapper. IM TAKIN' IT TO THE STREETS Y'ALL! now all i need is one of those fitted-hats-with-the-sticker-still-on-it. a pair of neon white nikes. some faded chick jeans 4 sizes too big. and one of those weird patterned sweatshirts that make me dizzy i see all of the little nay-o wannabes wearing. --------------------------------------------- i think this is where ill mention i got some last night...and it was fantastic...for me anyway. whats the word birds? the GREAT -alexander aka alexicious

don't ask. i won't bother to explain. where i've been. or what i've been doing. or who i've been doing it with. i will tell you that i am back from time to time. like this time. right now. this moment. i've spared some minutes to sit down and write a bit. again. alright. i've been busy. i've been busy running around town, getting arrested, getting un-arrested, working, not working, sexing, and basically being the me most of you or some of you or maybe none of you remember me being. i was in a relationship for a minute. a very HOT minute. but it has come and gone as most of my relationships tend to do once i've reached that horrible point of complete boredom. the girl was FINE. she was pretty with nice big blue eyes and a smile that still sort-a brings me up. she was smart and funny and a heavy drinker to boot. she was brilliant actually. thinking about it as i often do these days - she was pretty perfect. i am considering getting back to her i know she's waiting for it despite her dating that new loser. i know or maybe she knows that i know that she's waiting. to make a long story short...pretty perfect girls don't deserve pretty unperfect guys. i need to write more i know but right now i need to go drink large amounts of alcohol, get high, and go to work. what's going on in your lives? tell me. i might try to care. yo. -alexander the great

check 2? check? check? are you still listening? i know i've been gone for a bit...a tit...a tat of time. "THEY SAY HE RAN WITH WOLVES...IN SHEEPS CLOTHING." ------------------- i was gone because i was kidnapped. kidnapped by a vicious gang of lesbian prostitutes. i was forced to please them for hours on end until my ransom was paid by the 4 ninjas i met while visiting idaho. you figure it out. i was here. then gone. now i'm here again. -------------------------- leander has a new girlfriend. i had a girlfriend. and then she dumped me because i slept with a gay friend of hers. women...go figure. right now i'm seeing 4 different people and hoping they all find out about eachother because this is tiring. 3 girls. 1 guy. or some times it's 2 girls. 2 guys. 1 something. or some times it will be 3 girls. 2 guys. 1 a sister to one girl. 1 a brother to one guy. and it gets more confusing from there. what can i say? i like playing emotional games. they're lucky i take the time. ------------------------------ her name was linda but they all called her ugly. ------ so i don't have a real explanation for not being around. i got caught up in living life again and pretty ignoring everything else. now i'm trying to ease back down and take a break from the new little "hobbies" i've taken up. the greatest thing about addicting activities is that they're so easy to spread to someone else. before you know it...there you are. ------------------- say what up nikka. -alexander the great

i have come to the conclusions that (a) some boys should just stick to being white (b) not all lesbians are just pretending and you shouldnt attempt to change their minds (c) elvis is alive and living down the block from me and finally (d) i definitely need to stop dating/sleepingwith/hitting on insane people who find it their mission from that day on to stalk/harass/kill me. fucking psychos...so i play a few head games and that makes me a bad person...how damned brutal. what am i suppose to do? be the good guy all of the time and actually mean what i say? do you have any idea how much pressure and honesty that involves? i mean seriously...i have needs too. and im sorry if my needs include lying just to get laid or borrow money or get you off of my phone or just lying to mess with your mind a bit. i cannot be "hated on" for the ways i get my kicks. blame god...or biology for creating the sexymonster before you...just dont blame me. or better yet blame yourself...youre the one sucking up every damned lame line i put out there...sucka. -------------- so todays good. slow and steady and i think ive been stoned since around 6 in the a.m. so no complaints. im feeling pretty mellow, although i was due into work today and totally forgot until about 5 hours into the shift i was supposed to be working while i was busy sitting on the couch smokng up and watching spongebob...damn i love that cartoon...i really really really truly do. -------- math problem: if bobby has 2 bunnies and rudy has 6, while linda on the 8th floor of the project house has 11 bunnies and 2oz of crack she needs to move by tonight because tommy "killer" ramone needs 1100 dollars by friday and is relying on linda to move his damn product or he/ll not only put a bullet in her head but also in 9 of the 11 bunnies, 2 of which he plans on keeping in order to give his 1 bunny some company because its seemed lonely lately due to the fact that the other 3 of tommy "killer" ramone's bunnies decided to go awol in order to avoid any more inappropriate touching by tommy "killer" ramone's son tommy jr...the time now is 11:45 p.m. how many bunnies will be alive by 12:00 a.m.? please show all work. ----------------------------- i need reesepeanutbuttercups and some water. lets get naked? -alexander

NINE FIRSTS: First Screen Name: onedeath First Pet: lobster named buck-nine First Piercing: nose First Crush: kindergarten - sophia First CD: naughty by nature First Car: 1980 blue piece of shit honda First True Love: sway First Stuffed Animal: teddy bear named robert First Trip: italy - i was 6 or 7 -------------------------------- EIGHT LASTS: Last Car Ride: estimated 13 hours ago Last Movie Seen: wolf creek Last Phone Call: estimated 1/2 hour ago Last CD Played: louis xiv Last Bubble bath: what am i gay? never Last time you Cried: see above Last time you laughed: estimated 5.5 minutes ago Last time you fell: fucking saturday - hurt my leg -------------------------------- SEVEN HAVE YOU EVERS: Have you ever dated one of your best friends: yes - repeatedly Have you ever been arrested: of course Have you ever skinny dipped: absolutely Have you ever been on tv: not yet Have you ever kissed someone and then regreted it: never Have you ever been to a concert: of course Have you ever gone commando: everyday -------------------------------- SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY: 1. had some bacardi 151 2. watched aqua teen hunger force 3. teased my little brother 4. masturbated 3.5 times 5. called my ma 6. smoked some weed -------------------------------- FIVE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING: 1. my "i like butter" tshirt 2. dirty jeans 3. a sock 4. my oldmans hat 5. addidas -------------------------------- FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ALMOST ANYTHING TO: 1. spurn 2. yeti 3. bear 4. leander -------------------------------- THREE CHOICES: 1. Hot or Cold: breezey 2. Black or white: black 3. Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate -------------------------------- TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: 1. rob a bank 2. have an orgy -------------------------------- ONE THING YOU REGRET: 1. actually believing spurn when he said he borrowed that car *i really cant believe i just sat here and did this - fucking christ i need to leave the house and find someone or something to do. how g'lame. the sex machine -alexander