My life wasn't upposed to turn out like this.

When I was 10, I dreampt of what it would be like to be seventeen. I had it all planned out.
I was supposed to be in my second year of college.
I was supposed to have a beautiful boyfriend.
I was supposed to be scar-less.
I was supposed to have a weekend job.
I was supposed to look dazzling.
I was supposed to get on with my family.
I was suposed to have a car and be driving.

Now here's the truth of being 17:
I'm not in college, I'm unemployed, with no money.
I couldn't keep a boyfriend if I tried, I'm sleeping with people because I can and it's turning me nto a slut.
I'm full of scars. My body is covered.
I don't have a job, Woo. I work 16 hours a week. I'm fucking unemployed and it's shit.
Dazzling? My fucking ass.
I've lost my dad forever. All because of money.
Car? What? Money.. That's gone to POT. Literally.

My life sucks balls.

I want to get so high on dope i'm throwing up.
I want to take so much coke it's comming out of my ears.
I want to srink so much alcohol I need a new liver.


And I want all this Fucking pain to go away.
But it fucking won't.

The AD's just fuck me over even more.
They make me think, think untill I puke.


I don't see the point of getting up in a morning, Do you?
Ha. It's all shit.

Everyone should get so fucked.

And you can shove all you bullshit, up your ass and to the left hand side.
I don't care about anyone. I care about me. It's all me me me. Ya' happy.
Well I'm certinly not.

I could of had all I wanted, But no...
I like to makes things hard for myself, It's like i'm experimenting on myself.

Subject A : Joanna-Marie Davies.

There you fucking go.

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I'm in a hole I can't get out of.. It's like being 10ft down and looking up at the sky which just seems like a pin-head.

My, on earth do I screw up relationships?
All I want is to be happy.. But no, that's far to much to ask.

I'm getting screwed around by people, because I let them?

Why?!

Because I veiw my life as nothing, I go around screwing people, Bouncers of all people and expect people to respect me.

I don't even respect myself.

Fucking whore.