Its weird how not having a place to write or reflect over the weekend made me flustrated, upset, andgry. Proves how much I still need this place I think. He was on my mind at least 9/10 of yesterday. It seems as though I may have gone insane. It's only annoying me becasue I have all these feelings and emotions flying around, and yet I have no idea where I stand.. He says he loves me, misses me, thinks about me. Yet I see him once a week if i'm lucky. I just don't get it. I have a speach.. It goes like this. I think, whatevers happening between us.. I think it needs to stop. Because it's gotten to the point when i'd be devasted if I was to find out if you had slept with anyone else. And that bugs me. I shouldn't care. But I do. Throw an i'm sorry in there at somepoint and explain how i'm fantasic at running away, and do it every time. And we'll bhe okay right. We'll just be the friends with the beer and the drunken mistakes. But I don't really want that, I just don't want a part time, no idea whats going on, relationship. My head is screwed. ------- Afternote. I sound like a child. A whiney 16 year old child. Bless me. You think you'd grow up. You don't. Can we stop the tears now please.