i've had a bad day. a very bad day well actually i've had a few bad days but today was infront of my bf. teary all day. crying on and off throughout the day and then finally to top it of i freaked out when he touched my stomach cause i felt so damn FAT. i never wanted him to see me when im like that its scary. scratching away at my wrist he was scared, worried, and freaked out. great. he says he doesn't mind. that he's always here for me. but shit that must have been hard for him. now im feeling worse. i need to punish myself for hurting him. no food. no food for me. im bad. wrong. selfish. im sick of all this. it's just not normal. why can't i be normal!?!??!?!?!?!? damn you annoying perfect people why can't i be one of you. wait. why can't i just be happy as i am? that would be easier. but immpossible. so hard and impossible.