omg the pain shit, my stomach hurts, chinese didn't get out of it. bugger. 9st again thank god! but now thats going to go up :( shite! im crying so often. cutting more and more. made my fishnet arm thingy damn sexy! i wish i was more, so people could love something real not what they believe i am. im so fucking ugly! i hate mirrors! dreams of food and death. suicide haunts thoughts i cannot explain what kills me, but it make me so sad and i wish you could understand. everyone leave me alone to starve and rot away. have't you got the picture yet? i don't want to eat stop hasseling me! stop your stupid comments! it wont change my mind. i cannot so how could you? stop telling everyone! i don't want them to know. you have no idea, no idea what happens inside my mind so don't tell me what to do! don't feel sorry for me. just shut up and get on with it. why is it so easy for others yet i've been like this for so long and still fat!