this will be my longest entry ever. i expect zero comments. ok. here goes. I thought i was over him. i swear. i only cried over him the day he dumped me over a text msg. october 13th. and for the past 2 days i just miss him too much. and u know, the depressing part, is i tried to get over him by convincing myself that i had something with another guy. and that other guy made out with me, ignored me for a week, then made out with one of my best friends infront of my face. i've made out with 8 guys since me n trevor fucked up. n not one has called me back. cept matt, but he even admitted yeah we're gunna fuck around but we're never gunna date. oh perfect, i've become everyones fuck around girl. "Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs And sit alone and wonder How you're making out But as for me, I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone Making out. I'm missing your laugh How did it break? And when did your eyes begin to look fake? I hope you're as happy as you're pretending. I'm cuddling close To blankets and sheets And I am alone" -Dashboard Confessional You know what I don't care how many people tell me I shouldn't be missing you And I don't care how much you don't give a shit anymore Because you treated me like shit And I'm pretty sure I did the same And we never talked after that day And we'll never talk again And I can either sit here and cry Or I can go fix things Not between us But for myself And I choose I choose to sit here and cry Cuz I fell for you And yeah You could argue I only fell for you because I was pushed But if she had pushed me into any other guy standing there that night Then I don't know what would have happened But I can tell you I'd be happier I can almost garuntee that And yeah I wouldn't have sat here crying and pouring my heart out into a some fucking diary that no one will ever read And I don't care if we were drunk or on E or however it was It was the beach, the moon, and me and you And that meant something to me And I know it meant something to you too Because we kept going back And I wasn't getting more comfortable with you I was getting more nervous Because every time I was with you I fell inlove with you more and more And the day you called me to tell me you woke up at night and were just thinking about how much you loved me That meant the world to me And the day we layed on my bed, listening to that song It didn't have to be about who got in who's pants Or weather we fucked and whatnot It was just about you and me And that was when I really knew that you loved me And you kissed me like you meant it And we fucked it all up And I'll never forget that feeling Cuz my heart's fucked And in a way you saved me Because no one can ever break my heart so badly again And now I can protect myself Thanks to you They can't break what's already broken Right? And if you'd let me I swear I'd promise you the world And since I can't do that All I'm gunna promise is that I'll remember that feeling for the rest of my life I swear