Chapter 7 - How Could You?… I Love You. When I got to Nathan’s place, I opened the door and walked into his room. Before he could say anything, I let him have it. I don’t think he ever knew what hit him. "What the fuck were you thinking Nathan? How the hell could you do this to me? I thought... When you picked me I thought that meant you weren’t gonna have anything else to do with Haley, and then you went and did this...” Shit, this hurt. This hurt worse then anything ever had, even seeing Jesse and Karen kissing. This was beyond anything I had ever experienced before… This was anger, this was pain, this was betrayal, this was every bad emotion...all rolled into one. I knew I was crying; I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks, but I couldn’t stop it. I just kept yelling whatever words popped into my head, until pretty soon even I couldn’t make any sense of it. “I...you...what did...how could you...I never... and after I told you... you betrayed... WHY?!" That was the only word that actually made sense. I suddenly realized that I couldn’t stand up anymore. I sat down on his bed and didn’t even try to stop the tears from flowing. I think it was hard for Nathan to see me like that. “Lily...” He said softly. “Lily, please...don’t cry...” He sat down next to me and put his arms around me. “Lily, please, I’m sorry. I was being stupid, I wasn’t thinking, but I swear, it didn’t mean anything.” I pulled away from him; I couldn’t handle hearing about it yet. “Lily, please! Listen to me!” He pleaded. I got up and started walking to the door. “Lily, please, don’t go....... I love you.” I turned around and looked straight at him. “This better not be a fuckin joke, Nathan.” “I’m not joking Lily, I swear!” I stood in the doorway, looking at him. I wasn’t sure if I should stay and listen to him, or leave while I still could. He got up off the bed and walked over to me. As soon as I looked into those big blue eyes of his, I knew that it was too late. There was no way I could leave now. I walked over to the chair in front of his computer and sat down. “Ok.” I said. “I’m listening.” He basically told me all the things that I already knew: He loved me and he was sorry, only his version was much longer and more drawn-out. “So can we please work this out? I’ll do whatever it takes.” “I don’t know, Nathan.” “You don’t know?” he asked, sounding confused. “No, I honestly don’t know.” I said sadly. “I need some time to think about this.” I said, standing up to leave. “Lily... Please...” He pleaded, looking up at me with tears in his eyes. I got up and walked out. It took every ounce of strength that I had to leave him behind. For the next few days, I just kind of avoided everyone. Whenever someone tried to talk to me, I walked away or ignored them until they left. Things went that way for a week. But the next Thursday, something happened that changed everything. I was in the hallway outside the gym. Jesse walked inside and saw me standing there. He came over to me. There was no one else around. I turned to walk away, but he grabbed my arm. “No Lily, You’re not leaving, at least not until you talk to me.” “Let me go!” I said, struggling. “No!” He said, tightening his grip. I gave in. Jesse is really strong. “What do you want, Jesse?” “To talk. I swear, all I’m asking for is a few minutes.” “Ok, fine.” I said, annoyed, because I knew there was no way I could get out of this. So we talked. He didn’t ask why I was pissed or try to force me to talk to him. He just said that Karen was being a bitch and he needed someone to talk to. I told him that I totally understood, cuz my boyfriend was being a complete ass too. As I looked at him, I saw glimpses of the old Jesse, the one I had fallen for. I’m not really sure what happened next, it all went too fast. All I know is one minute we were talking and the next... We were kissing.