Chapter 12 - After the Storm Right after I said that, I broke down and started crying. I cried so hard, it hurt. That’s when the rain started. Then, the door opened, and I felt someone wrap their arms around me, holding me tightly. “Damien?” I whispered. “Huh?” It was Nathan. “Lily...” he began, but that was all he said. I guess he could tell that it wasn’t the best time to ask questions. so we just sat in my car, listening to the rain and the song, with him holding me while I cried. Finally, I was able to get a hold of myself. I wiped my eyes and looked at Nathan. He looked back at me sadly; I could tell he was worried. “I guess you probably want me to explain what that was all about, huh?” “Only if you want to.” He said supportively. I thought about it for a minute. It was really sweet that Nathan wasn’t forcing me to talk to him, but I knew that in the end, it would help both of us if I did. I had kept this hidden for long enough. “I want you to know.” I said. “Ok.” He answered. I took a deep breath. “Well, I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that my parents are never around, and you’ve probably wondered why.” “Well... yeah.” He answered softly. “When I was younger, my dad would go out to bars and get drunk almost every night. For as long as I can remember, he would do this and then come home and... He’d hit us." “Us?” Nathan asked, a look of concern on his face. “Me and my twin brother... Damien.” I said. He reached out and grabbed my hand, encouraging me to keep talking. “It happened for a long time, getting worse and worse as the years passed. Damien and I always hid what was going on from everyone else, because we were ashamed of it. My mom tried to help us, but he’d just hit her too. By the time we were 14, Damien and I had both developed depression. We were talking one night, and we decided that we didn’t want to live like that anymore... We were going to fight back.” My voice was shaking. I stopped for a minute. Then I continued, tears silently falling. “The next night, when my dad went to hit me, Damien stopped him. He got pissed off and hurt Damien really bad. He was in the hospital for a week after that. My mom told the doctors that he fell down some stairs… I guess that was the last straw for Damien.” “What happened?” Nathan asked softly. “He committed suicide a few nights after he came home.” For a minute, he was silent. “Wow, Lily... I’m so sorry,” he said. More silence. I guess Nathan wasn’t sure what to say. I kept going. “He left letters to me and my mom. The one to me pretty much said that he was sorry for leaving me alone, but he was only doing it to save me, and that he loved me. The one he wrote my mom said that if she didn’t divorce my dad and keep him away from me, he would have died in vain. His death gave her the strength to finally get rid of my dad, but at the same time, it killed her. Damien was her favorite. She and I have never really gotten along, but she loved him. So now, she’s the one that gets drunk every night. But she doesn’t hit me... So I guess it’s better.” “Yeah...” Nathan said quietly. “So… What about the song?” he asked. “We went to a dance the night before he died. He dedicated this song to me.” I turned it up so he could hear the words. This world, this world is cold But you don’t, you don’t have to go You’re feelin sad; you’re feelin lonely And no one seems to care Your mothers gone and your father hits you This pain you cannot bear But we all bleed the same way as you do And we all have the same things to go through Hold on, if you feel like letting go Hold on, it gets better then you know Your days, you say they’re way too long And your nights, you can’t sleep at all, hold on And you’re not sure what you’re waiting for, But you don’t want to no more... And you’re not sure what you’re looking for But you don’t want to no more... Don’t stop looking your one step closer Don’t stop searching its not over Hold on... I turned it back down. “...I guess he knew how things would turn out once he left.” I said softly. “That night, after the dance, I went into his room, and we just sat there and talked. We used to do that all the time. I miss it... Hell, I miss him.” I said quietly. “Why is it that he had to die, and my dad is still alive and free to do whatever the fuck he wants?” I asked angrily. “It’s not fair.” “I don’t know Lily... I really don’t know... So your dad, he didn’t go to jail or anything?” “No, he’s just not allowed to come anywhere near me or my mom, and he has to stay sober.” “damn...” “Yeah, I know. Hey, Nathan?” “Yeah?” “That night, when me and Damien were talking, he made me promise that I would never hit anyone, and that I would always try to solve things in a civil way... And I broke that today. I let him down. Do you think he’d ever forgive me?” Nathan looked at me. A tear rolled silently down his cheek. “I think your brother would not only forgive you, he’d be proud of you. You’re a great person Lily, and I was lucky enough to have you give me a second chance, so if I were you, I would look at this as a second chance from Damien.” God, I love him. “Thanks, Nathan.” I said softly. “I love you.” He flashed me a huge smile. Have I ever mentioned that I love his smile? “I love you, too.” He said. I kissed him lightly, then climbed out of the car, and into the sunlight that had come after the storm.