yeah.. im kinda feeling lousy and tired and not well.. not becoz im sick prolly.. i dont know.. i feel the hollow kinda thingy again.. chris has decided to move to the island.. i dont know if this is gonna change again [coz he keeps on changing and all lol] but i do think he's gonna go to the island anyways.. i dreamt about him today.. i was in my big house in my home country [its a dream, so its big lol] and he was there, travelling.. my dad was so suspicious and he keeps on asking us when we were whispering and stuff [so annoying lol].. chris' hair was kinda messy.. not hot messy but like cancer messy.. some of it was short or long and theres some bald thingy.. i dont know why but it was like that in my dream.. chris then went back to his house [which is like in my home country lol] and left using a bus and all.. my oldest maid comes out and gave him extra food first for dinner coz he didnt eat anything before.. it drops to the snow when he walked away.. we were both there to apply for a model contest lol.. it was weird but well its a dream.. duh.. so anyways the contest was like awkward too.. it seems like he always gone far out and i cant reach him.. he was like all avoiding me and talk to someone else and didnt even care if im there or not.. it was kinda similar with the way i felt today.. does he? does he care? i dont know.. i feel weird.. and i feel like im being freaky again.. im over reacting i gess.. :S another thing was my old old bf has another bf now.. he was like all rubbing it in my face coz he knows that i dont have anyone rite now and he was like telling me all romantic stuff and all [we had a fight couple of days ago since i told him that i felt annoyed by him asking me to do "stuff" for him and i dont want to] but i think he do really like his new bf and not doing it to make me feel bad or anything.. so yeah im happy for him.. :] another bad thing is.. there's only one courses available in the college for me this summer :s my dad is gonna mad at me except if i get accepted in the univ. so that i can take the second course there.. wish me luck peepz..