so yeah its my last day being here and everything is going so well.. thanks to the beaver lake and the sunny days :D i went to beaver lake again yesterday.. took some pictures which i think i wont be able to edit coz im leaving soon :s and then i went to downtown, met chris and watched movie with him and stay over at his place yogi asked me to go to a house party today.. i donno if i will go or not since im having the depressing moment :p it feels awkward that the next day i wont be here again and i'd be with my family and everything like that.. yet i kept on thinking of my love stuff.. chris shudnt even tell that he loves me at that time.. i was really hoping that he wudnt say that when he said that coz i've actually moved on and was gonna ask charlie out.. yet he made me go backwards and had a thing for him again.. and the next few days, he went cold again and said that he doesnt feel attracted to me and now he's all blabbering about matt, a guy he's just known and supporting him to go to kwantlen for interior design.. i dont know.. i feel like i meant nothing for him and im just a guy that he ran into when he feels that he got nothing to do so he missed me coz he's so bored of what he's doing and when he meet a new interesting guy he just dumped me like some kinda trash.. chris u suck.. and i know i suck too but well i just cant think about what i shud feel about this.. yeah i make u feel bad but thats what u did and u shud just accept it and not ask me to not show it.. i dont know if i wanna be a fren anymore.. i think i just need time to get over it and start over.. so i think me going back to indonesia is just a really good thing to get everything over..