im in indiana.. left yorba linda. there was a going away party for andrew, it was fun. i enjoyed it alot. slept at my brothers, woke up and drove across country. ended up in indianapolis 2 days later leaving california was the easiest its ever been. not saying it was easy cuz it never is, but alot easier then any other time because i was prepared for it. been there done that, the whole leaving thing that is. im happy to be home in indiana, however only for a few reasons. im kinda balanced.. i wanna be in cali for reasons and i wanna be in iniana for reasons.. and its kinda balanced so i dont know what to do. i had a great summer... went to the beach a couple times, bon fired, saw every movie out, ate out alot, relaxed too much, drove around 8000 plus miles, re-united with old friends from years ago, went camping in the minnerets/sierra nevadas, mammoth.. had a great time with my cousins, fished, saw deer, bear and beer, hiked, climbed up the face of a waterfall along the side of a mountain, swam in 40 degree water, more bon fires,tents, the whole deal, drove back to south cali, laughed with my brothers, met up with my friend nick from elementary school. went to san diego for a show and dinner, had 4th of july at julie and aunt nancy's house, shopped and bought alot of new clothes for school, met two northern irish girls who had funny accents, went to a waterpark and got hit on by a life gaurd who was very young, kinda funny, destroyed my new car with dirt and mess, cut my hair, help my sister move into a new apartment in Orange, went to bleeding through/ throwdown, it was great, saw mandy moore there, (wierd ey?) she was beautiful and i usually dont have a thing for celebrities, saw the rocky mountains and conquored them like a champ, took a shower with a hose in front of my brothers house because his shower inside was broken and the neighbors all got to watch, got really really drunk for the first time but it was funny, went to a few parties at eddy's house and stepho's house, jacuzzied it up with kevin and garret, got sicker then anything because of bad fast food, watched andrew get hit on by a bum at laguna, watched a neighbor on judge judy, forgot how to have fun, and then found out again, sleeped poorly, pet a goat, saw A Dying Memory for the first time, in north Hollywood, drove to L.A. and The Valley to see cousins, Listened to a Little Rap Music, Missed Elisa, Missed my Dad and Mom, Fell In Love with The Apple ipod, Ripped 400 Cd's from Mat, drank alot of coffee at starbucks and It's a Grind, Learned to drive stick pretty well, Went to Downtown Disney, Twice, went to the block twice, Saw The "8the gRaders"... they were funny, played golf with my brother,went to hooters with mat's dad and mat as a going away dinner, it was funny and fun, and spent 1200 plus dollars on food, entertainment and clothing... Drove 2500 or more miles back to indiana to go to a boring school. well i think thats about it, im sure i forgot a lot of stuff, but anyways it was a decent summer now that i think of it... i hope it have another one just as good or even better. back in indiana im happy to be with my mom and dad and to be in my old room and to be back with elisa... she had a great summer in colombia too. well i must go to sleep...

im going to throwdown on sunday. i can't wait, because this show will make alot of sense to me. im leaving tuesday morning.. it kind of sucks, but im not too upset about it, because i didnt make any extremely strong bonds with neone this summer, not like last summer, and my good friends will always be there for me. and also, i'm used to getting back and used to real life. moving back to cali in the next 6 months to a year. so that should be good. i just woke up, but im going shopping today and buying neat clothes. im going to miss mat and julie and kevin and garret and eddy and even though i didnt see bucky much, ill miss him too... and im going to miss my brother greg and brian, and my sister who have all ditched me to live in cali... and all my cousin's and uncles and aunts. well i never saw them much neway. ha... ok time to go shopping ::hearts::scott::hearts::

im watching my girrl on tbs right now. i love old music from the 50's on record players. it sounds so cool. anyhow... i havnt gone to the beach in a few weeks. it sucks. so i wont complain, instead ill just go. however, tomorrow is the 4th so i cant goo.. to much traffic. wonder what elisa is doing right now? i'm getting paid soon for working in pomona... it will be nice, the second day was the best cuz i had someone fun to work with.

its been a while since an update because i dont get on the computer much anymore. everyone is being cool. things are way different but its ok. growing up, sucks. i saw the new tom hanks movie tonight. it was really good, laughed my ass off. i miss a girl, far far away. too bad life doesnt work out like u want it too. im so glad im not in school for another few months. i went shopping and bought some clothing. i got sick last week, but i feel better now. got to talk to her on the phone one last time and i couldnt think of nething good to say... i was just suprised she called. now im lonely and wanna just give her a hug. however, ive been through all this long distance missing a girl thing before, its pointless.. however, im having a great summer. it will make a good ending to a great thing.. i hope. ok ok ok sooo dinner tongiht was filled with chicken, tortilla's, salsa, beans, and diet coke. i was full. ok now im going to go make myself a snack. goodnight ::hearts::scott::hearts::

i got a car. it is stick. im working on learning it. im hungry and no one is around to go to dinner with me. im leaving on a road trip that is going to be 34 hours long starting tuesday. how fun. got my report card in the mail... B C C C A- C+ .... however, our grading scale is 74-83 84-93 94-100 .. instead of the 70 80 90 100 scale like most schools.. so it was hard to get those grades. :-( doesnt that suck?

it has been almost a month since my last update. infact, i did an update recently but it failed on me. i was pipped. i dont know what's happened. lets see umm.. school has came to an end and i made it out alive. finals were o.k. i got an A on 2 of them and probably failed the rest. yesterday i went to king's island, this theme park in ohio, it wasnt as good as anything else ive been too except it was better then 6 flags over texas. however i had a great time anywayz. and i bought a shoppingcart worth of fireworks. there are tornado's outside right now and im sort of scared. I'm leaving here for california in 8 days or so. im excited. My girlfriend is really good, i'll miss her this summer and all, but ill have an excellent summer anywayz. My brother graduated highschool! isnt that the shit? he's off to the real world. Do you ever feel like your opinion doesnt matter? i hate that. Why cant people allow other people to have their own opinion on things without being shut down? Does anyone want to wake up at 6 on the A.M. and go to laguna with me on my first morning there? cuz im all for a day in the sun, infact i think im buying a new board. so give me a holler if u do. Lastly, this year has flown by and im glad its over with. and im glad my parents are the best parents in the world. ::love::HEARTS::Scott::HEARTS::love::

work on friday wasnt any good at all. i mean. listen to this, wait no, before i keep going, i am going to be pretty negative so WARNING: do not subject yourself to ranting if you can not handle it. Work on friday was horrible. i Felt sick the whole night. i didnt wanna be there, and to top it off we got a new girl who was lazy bitch and i had to do everything. but then i got off work and picked up elisa, my girlfriend. we went to steak n' shake then came back to my house. we watched GroundHog Day. it was soo good. ha i luv that movie. i think i fell asleep though. then i took elisa home, went to sleep. i woke up a few hours later at like 5 in the morning with COTTON MOUTH, and Dry Flem, and a small fever, completely dehydrated.. i couldnt move, couldnt even get medicine. gosh. it was the worst. then my mother found me at 8 and she brought me water, and medicine and now i'm feeling better. i hope i get better fast. sickness is bad. its raining and gross outside. My sister's cat, Calabasas, well she got out and got attacked by something, we found her all mudy and shaking and her nose was bleeing. poor dumb thing. well its better now, lost its collar though. ::sigh:: this world is a crazy place, even for the kittens. im going to the bank right now and depositing some checks. ok im done. hmm.. i wonder if im missing something.. oh well. i ::heart:: mat, kami, julie, bucky, garret, kevin, brandon, Josh among many more. just had to mention that cuz i miss them.

yesterday i went to Bleeding Through, and Come Back Kid. it was really good. well no, actually i was alone, and i didnt know any of the songs until bleeding through came out. but it was good to say the least. some kid jumped off stage butt ass naked. it was sick. then he danced! kung foo-free ballin. shiiit. i ripped my fav. jeans. i bought a hat. i only have 6 more days of work left. what what! im doing poorly in school. its a dissapointment, but i can give a shit, we are almost out. "look to my species and tremble, to think that god is just.... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! and in the distance there's a gathering, that no longer seams so far away. pushed to our knees so let us prey, then all together, we'll bring the real rain, and watch all thats wasted wash away, i will be done!" i hope davey is getting better. i really wanna see A.F.I. again, again, and soon. i looked at cars today. what is good that is 24 thousand or less? you tell me! ::scott::

This week my parents were gone. i went to a lacross game on tuesday i worked last saturday, yesterday, and today (thursday). My parents are back now. School wasnt too bad today. its so much better when you dont worry about nething. but it is hard not to worry about things. I want a Mini Cooper S it was a beautiful day out. im doing a power point on neil armstrong right this very instant. i ran 3 times in the past week (1.5 miles each time) .. this is good for ME. well g2g. ::hearts::scott::Hearts::

smiles are not more than empty love locked doors can keep you alone/ forever paint the words (from your lips) in a house thats no longer your home/ Take the dreams i know (as my own) and it worsens weekends/ Thanks again for my misery. and you run with fake friends// im sick of your sad songs and sing alongs. i kind of like it when things are wrong. straight from left end, they;ll shout corrections, and ill DECLINE, AND ILL DECLINE// A SOURCE OF COMFORT OR SOME PROTECTION AND ILL DECLINE, SMILES ARE NOT MORE THAN EMPTY LOVE!!!!!! LOCKED DOORS can KeEP you. in your throat you will see surface relocated therapy. all i taste of today is the shame of my whore prey all i know are apologies do yo u feel the shame? -FATA--... im not one for posting lyrics that i wrote or that anyone else wrote, but no one is around and i needed someone to sing the ssong too that was playing. just it was by chance that it was SIT. i feel better now. yesterday sucked. subway was so dumb. 11 hours! boo hoo. ok. soo saturday sucked. friday was good. cant wait for this week to come. ::thumbs down ::hearts::scotty::hearts::

I love life.

spring break was a sham. my family did not go anywhere. i worked almost everyday. i went shopping. i saw two movies. i hung out with elisa a bunch, that was fun. that girl is crazy. in good ways. i had a horrible day Friday?? i dunno. i think it was friday, i hit rock bottom. i dunno why. do you know what that is like, S.I.T.? well of course you do, you shut down periodically. it sucks. i was just feeling like shit. having bad thoughts and thinking nothing of myself. boo hoo. i sucked it up and saturday was much better, well the next day, wich i think was saturday. possibly saturday. i dunno. went to circle center. it was the shit i bought new pants. Things are good with elisa. and all i can think about is getting out of this horrid school. "fuckin right doggy!" cuz it sucks. not just the regular suck, but extra suck. if u go to my school, ude understand. well, i talked with kami, we are going to be attatched at the hip again this summer, i think of summer alot these days. BEACH ALL THE TIME, BEACH, BEACH, and more BEACH, and then unno what? IN N' OUT, Mischeif, Fourth of July fireworks, DAshboard confessional, A.F.I., Modest Mouse, going to Chain!, Going to the beach some more, oh yea and her bf will be coming along for the ride im sure. hope i like him. Sand, foami salt water mouth, dry shoulders from too much sun, heavey bones from napping too much on the sand, wet car seats, no socks, no shoes, no underwear, mexican food, tacos, pools, jacuzzi's, sun glasses, get togethers, late night drives, not getting in trouble with po po. bowling, shopping, maybe going to l.a. once err twice. san diego a few times. BON FIRES TILL the park rangers kick us out with their little floatie orange surf boards and big microphone things. wut wut. ok ill stop shouting out random fantacies and ideas that cant be captured in words fully. most of these things are just representations of good feelings that create summer, summer. oooh and lets not forget traffic on the 91 and the 55. ohh and lets not forget Jamboree alll the way to PCH. Fasion Island! AAAH ... someone... please tell me they know what i speak of. ::hearts::scott::hearts::

i worked last night. it sucked. elisa came over and we watched matrix revolution err wutever. the third one. and my mom came in and saw her laying on me.. so this morning, my mom gave me the "dont have sex" TALK.. haha.. i was all "mom, i wont be having sex with her! trust me!" and she was all "i trust u will use protection!" ahahaha gosh, i can't believe my mom finally gave me this talk, sorta late, i mean, i havnt had sex, thats right, i havnt! but there are alway's opportunities for a teenage boy, and im getting it at 17... haha. she failed. but newayz... it was funny. and today im going shopping.. im going to buy pants and a few shirts maybe. ::hearts::scott::hearts:: leave me a message...

today is the first day of spring break for me. and yes, it is thursday. I am going to prom in indiana now. and i know i know its a huge change of plans from going to california's prom but, Esperanza's prom is on the 22nd of may and i get out of school a week after that and hopefully will be headed out there anyways... so it would be a waste of a lot of money that i dont have. I am going with Elisa (the colombian, know her?)ha. hmm.. well i never got mono, thank god. andrew is working out just fine at subway. i really wanna go home though, i mean, i am content these days, in indiana, but it just isnt the same. i wanna wake up and go to the beech, or even be able to step outside without feeling like its too hott or too cold to bare. i luv julie, i talk to her more then neone these days. my report card last week ... A C C C- B C....grading scale is (94-99 A 84-93 is B 74-83 is C.. ) and so on.. so its hard to get good grades.. but i did ok yea? i hate when people leave annonomous comments on SIT! oh oh... a Transvestite (sp*?) came to my store last night, again. she, he? it? was gross. it had boobs, a purse, flowerie blouse, jeans, hair to its shoulders, abouuut 45? or 40... and.. umm... a 5 oclock shadow. it was the worst thing... EVER. i didnt know what to call it cucz i always call customers "sir" or "ma'am" or "miss" it even had a fake high voice. blah and it touched my hand when i gave it change, guhh my whole body quivered and i had to go spit. ::hearts::scott::hearts::

went to work this week. went to school. went to panera bread, went to starbucks. all the usual. i have money in the bank for summer. its good. We are hanging out again. Elisa has mono. i Hope i dont have mono. that would suck. I hope she gets better... poor girl has swollen glands on her neck. aaaaah. that would hurt. i sympathize. she thinks that ive had it and i gave it to her.. but ive never had it! gosh. so im worried. .. again.. i feel bad for her... ::teer:: i wanna lay in the sun. spring break is soon. grades are soon. Andrew Got a Job at My Job. its great. i wanna quit eating cookies.

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long week. got things done in school. My mother is in Cali. My brother Moved out. This girl i was seeing.. well .. im not anymore. im sad over it. and im going to talk to the ooolll diary about it.. so i really really liked this girl. she was nice. she was cute. but she wasnt my type. im not her type. it makes sense believe me. Shes fun and great to be around *all good qualities ey?* buuut.. i guess because of all sorts of reasons... it just didnt feel right. and i was sick of doing cartwheels to try and make it feel right. so thats that. so im kinda sad. ive had a real bad day because of it. it was that mudsliding into other things. Boo HOoo ok im done. so i got a Comment from bucky and it said he missed me. so i thought of him. laughed at a joke he said once and had a little memory of goodness. it was nice. I cant wait for spring break. WOOO im going to do NOTHING. ::hearts::till next time::hearts::

well i hate hse. this week has been up in the air. went to friends house friday had a bon fire. went in the spa with elisa. holy moly.. she looked sooo hott in a bikini. it was pleasant...very. then we went in the house and sat around. i sat in a ferrari. it was all i could ever have imagined. went to the pankake hosue today. it was good. worked. went to starbucks saw pat and andrew. they are great. make me feel good. saw passion of christ. sat in the car and talked to my friend for a good 2 hours. came home. my brother is moving out again. blah. now im online. ::hearts::scott::hearts::

got out of school. drove to chicago. we went like 90 the whole way. andrew and i had a LoAD of fun driving in downtown chicago! FATA was o.k. but we only got to see fata cuz it was so late. yea. it was great seeing them. but. they are the opposite of hard. they must be xPussyxCorex err something. damn. we then proceeded to sleep i sleept well. the following day.. we woke up.. *saturday* and went to starbucks. andrew and i and pat and a friend went shopping. i got NEW JEANS! and a NEW JACKET! they are very nice. from GAP and Wet SEal... then we took the train to chicago. oh man. met two girls on the train. after that. we walked 2 miles to the Subway station.... took the subway to rigley field. got off and walked 5 blocks err so to the VIC theater. there were soo many cool kids at the show. the artists were great. variety... Conner was energizing and emotional.. Everyone at the venue was smokeing.. soo.. it was kinda unhealthy to stand and watch. but oh well. well worth it. we took the L-train "brown Line" loop back to washington street and walked a good half mile back to the Train station. i found 5 dollars on the ground and a bum later asked me for change. i blew him off.. as i walk down the street i realized the 5 dollars i had found and darted back to him and gave it to his cold dirty black hand.. and unno ..? he said.. "GOD BLESS YOU GOD BLESS YOU ALL!" aha. it made me feel good, even if he IS gunna go buy crack i dont care. hes happy. poor soul "maybe the poison will kill us but the poison kills the pain" ... poor bums... we had to wait at the train station for an hour or so and the two girls we met came back and we talked for the whole ride back to the subburbs because they were going to the same place as us. they were in college. very nice. we talked for a good while. the car was frozen over. had steak n' shake.... then back to sleeping... i slept extremely well. and then we drove back to fishers today. the drive back was great. pat and andrew are halarious.. andrew drove my car back aaah! but its all good. i wanted to drive cuz it was sunny!! i got home. my dad was home from going to cali. my mom is on her way. back to HSE. i have a wierd feeling in my stomache right now. im.. im.. what am i.. im.. UnEasy, but not about anything spacific.. im on a scale. i wish i could be solid on things in general. Damn this A.D.D. Damn it to hell. i loveed chicago.. i feel it abandoned me.. abandoned me for good, i will never have the feeling of the first experiance in that place ever again, just a memory, a chemical reaction in my brain, and it will be forever embeded. similar to a life changing move across country. the whole trip brought me back to a little spark of goodness in the world. i cant wait for something like it again. ::scott:: i cant wait to talk to Elisa. i cant wait to talk to jewlz or mat about it. thank you to all that need to be thanked for this weekend.

V-Day. woke up. drove downtown at 4 in the morn. went to a flower store. went to work. got dressed. picked up my valentine. went to a cruddy resteraunt. but the company was good. went home. watched titanic. had apple cider. took my valentine home, Elisa. She looked really cute BTW! just thought EVERYONE should know that. couldn't a been a better night. My friend came over and spent the night. i woke up and they were gone. had to go to work. got off. Elisa and her two friends came over. played piano. Andrew came over after that. then tiff and the mex came. we went to Tiff's house. then back to my house. the whole night was a sham. did things we shouldn't have. the mex and her friend had troubles. andrew was down. i was out of it. woke up. Elisa came over. watched boweling for colombine. Went to work. had a new Subway sandwich. went home. now im going to sleep. long weekend. ::Hearts::Scott::Hearts::