I don't understand this. It's so stupid but I feel so bad. I broke up with this kid- he was cool but I didn't feel the same about him as I had before. That and I started liking some else and I'm not a complete skank so I couldn't lead him on like that. [He doesn't know that part though. I couldn't tell him that yet.] He stopped talking to me and I try to be his friend but I don't know what it is. I thought he liked my other friend and I was cool with it but yesterday he put up an away message about feeling depressed and when I asked about it- he lied to me. Now lying is not cool in my book. It hurt more than I expected it would and it wasn't even that big of a lie. I told him it was okay and that it didn't matter but somewhere inside it's still bugging me. All my friends abandoned me on this extended weekend. Only one thought about me enough to ask me if I wanted to do something and we don't even go to school together anymore. At least someone cares. I'm a lucky person and I'm whining about the bad part of my life. Wallowing in self pity- not very becoming is it? The good parts? Well, I got a birthday present. [Fall Out Boy CD] I made a high pass on my World History SOL which means I aced the class and I never have to deal with it again. I can't think of anything else. What is wrong with me? I should be happy or at least okay but somethings wrong with this picture...

I'm back. That was a good break I guess. I did some thinking about everything but I think I'm fine now. Hope you guys are doing well. Sorry I haven't answered some of the comments in past entries but I just couldn't. Forgive me. Well today is a new day.

RIP Dean Walker [4/24/89-1/2/05] You are greatly loved and are greatly missed. Y I love you...always.

*pops bubble wrap* Merry Christmas best christmas present ever. it rocks my socks completely. i Y it. it records small audio and visual things too!!! also go a volcom pullover;; redwall book with a signature [thats just awesome];; matching scarf hat and gloves;; and camera add on stuff. "That is the last camera i am buying for you." -mom. haha.

PLEASE COMMENT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. i'm feeling like a comment whore. =] im such a sitD slut. yeah. i suck. havent made an entry in forever. i know i know. its time for me to be cool. Marching band season is over. we got 9th out of about 80 bands...that kicks....mondo...ass... well this was a short entry...=P

lookie lookie who came back after a long break. ive been on and off but didnt bother to make an entry. why? cuz i suck. XP XP XP. no longer do i suck cuz i made an entry. -then end. nah just playin. guess who's cool to the extremety!! scranton, pennstate next week for TOB. ITS GONNA KICK. woo whooooo!!!

someone commented that my site is unique. coolness. ^_^ goin to the mall today with some friends. fun fun. probably gonna blow all my money on candy and...jewelry? eh. i dunno. but im makin my friend by a skirt/dress so she can come to homecoming but thats the thing that pisses me off- the girls have to wear freaking dresses. i feel opressed/repressed/surpressed!!! haha. o_O...okay i think im out of things to talk about. except one thing- i dont have an orthopedic appt. til oct 13th for my shoulder. stupid people getting in car accidents. *shakes head* taken up all the appts.

spent 3 hours cleaning our first song and running through our show. 2morrow is our first public performance infront of the whole school at the football game. i think i may die. marching band is the culprit- file a lawsuit if i do pass. on the brighter side...there is no brighter side...shit. oh wait i figured out one- 2morrow is friday!! ^_^ the thing is no matter what- on saturday we have marching band again. *slams head on desk* its retarded. extremely. OH i figured out another brightside- i finished my homework its before 9 pm. mwahhaha. --

xanga's pissing me off. i made a new layout on there but i was testing so i hadnt saved it and all of a sudden xanga starts getting bugs AND FUCKED IT UP. so pissed off at that. thats why i like this site better. besides the fact that none of my friends have a diary here, it doesnt completely screw up all the time. sure the servers down sometimes but its not as annoying as xanga some. kyle gave me the weirdest look today. i came out of the practice room carrying the tuba and he gives me this 'wtf- i didnt know you were here. what are you doing?' and then he watched me put the tuba away like it was some big thing. he's so weird. *rolls eyes* *eats cake* ah. well deserved i say. first Marching band competition this saturday. its gonna be big!! *dun dun duuun*

good news- its only 12:15 in the morning!! earlier than yesterday- i'd say an improvement. oh- good news x2: the british funnies are on! i have a strange obsession with the british funnies. they're pretty old but still very cool. oh this rocks- someone else thinks im cool. thats the kind of thing that fucking rocks my socks. *nods* my socks have officially been rocked for the day...or at least the 5th. my socks have been rocked for a different reason too- i get to see my hannah banana today!!! we're going to see Vanity Fair. our last hurrah before we begin high school. ill prolly be sleepin til its time to get ready too. haha. strange- me n my close friends usually get a good 12 hours of sleep. no joke. didnt fully wake up til 12:30 today. which was nice. but i have school 2morrow. ah fuck it. we should be able to at least not go to school until 9 or something. my school fucking starts at 7:25 in the morning!! i mean who is really awake at that time? i know im not. maybe fully awake right now- id be willing to go to school even....eh well...not really...more like socialize but all my friends are away...cept for the seniors from my band but i hardly talk to them at band much less online. what can i say, im shy...not... ive run out of things to say. *gasp* guess ill just roam the site- stalking random people. --good day--

i put 4/5 becuase its actually 1 in the morning on the 5th- the diary is just in a different time-zone i do believe. anyone like the layout? i got bored and i like the picture i found. finally figured out how to make the background not repeat- you have to make it big enough *slaps forehead* went to the ER today and grossed out the nurse with my shoulderblade. the doctor came out n said it was a mucle deformaty/problem so i need to go to my doctor. i have a feeling they're gonna say no more suza cuz its causin too much stress and could possibly cause long term damage to my muscle. which wouldnt be good. theres nothing good on the TV. they should at least show reruns of comedies for those who cant/wont sleep. i know i'd enjoy it. who else would??? *writes 'insomniac' on forehead* getting better at french braiding my hair...the fact that my hair is straighter and manageable helps. *nods* i didnt do bad at all. okay im insanely bored and pealing the skin off my left pointer finger...its starting to go numb. *looks at hand and amazement* oh thats cool. -[o]_[O]- --

discovery of the day: the suzaphone displaced my shoulderblade. its kinda disturbing but it doesnt hurt so its alright for now. my mom is taking me to the hospital tonight or 2morrow to get it checked out. i dont want them to put it back cuz i know it'll hurt. but it'll be cool to get a sling. -[o]_[O]- my band teachers gonna be so pissed off though. --shoulderblade update later--

they cut the shit out of my hair. but i like it anyways. the scary beforeness. frizz-ball of tangles. it'll give you nightmares. [so will my face so thats not saying much.] voila!! and again voila!! they also curled it into a mess but it'll prolly look better 2morrow when they loosen up a bit more. but its a pretty good job. and now it wont go *PHWOMPH* when i go to the pool on friday. ^_^ tell me what you think!! n if you say its bad i dont really give a fuck cuz there isnt much i can do about it now...so only positive comments!!!

i knew it would happen. i just knew it. yesterday at MB practice i fell while wearing the sousaphone. right before i fell i was thinking 'oh fuck im gonna fall...this was bound to happen sooner or later and...oh shit i have this stupid sousaphone on....oh shi-' and down i went. its my sixth sense but it doesnt help a goddamned thing cuz i cant prevent anything. its like one of those 'out-of-body' experiences cuz i could see myself with a worried look on my face. my ankle gave out on me n then my leg went out which is why i fell. we were cleaning a drill of one of our songs. i hit my head but im not sure how hard cuz i was more worried about the cut on my knee which was burning like a bitch. but out of all the things that hurt- my ass hurt the most. i am so serious but i couldnt tell anyone that. infact it still hurts. the cool thing was a hott guy touched me. ^_^ he's the brass tech and man is he sexy. yummy. font change. my friend likes this font cuz she says its like me. sooooooo- voila!! on the brightside im getting the perm put back into my hair and a new hair cut. you guys get before and after pictures...as soon as my mother comes home to take them... i havent had a perm in like 3 going on 4 years and it was hell so now we are going to a lady who actually knows (or at least seems to) what shes doing. so im going there every week to get my hair washed n deeply conditioned so it doesnt break any more than it has. --pictures here later--

photobucket is annoying the hell out of me witn enlarging and reducing pictures. its effed up but heres what i got for today. kickass? kickass. probably the best shot of the day. didnt realize while the picture had a tint in it until i took a second look at the windshield. complete, total dumbass. the catseye marble i found at band camp. bitchin. the kickass picture of my tuba. gotta love the lighting. --

it probably would have been better to come up with this idea at the beginning of summer rather than the end but thats the way it goes. I've been inspired by the diary beccadotcom to start taking pictures. alot of pictures. my venture starts today. What also contributed was the fact that my computer fucked itself over and lost everything- including my 8th grade pictures. that seriously pissed me off because now i wont have pictures of some of the people who are going to different highschools but whatever. i have a digital cam so it seems a lot easier for me to take good pictures but i really want to capture something. then play around with the picture on the computer. bedazzle it if you know what i mean. but now i have to wait for my cam to recharge so ill prolly end up taking a shower first. (bet you want a picture of that, huh) i did take a kickass picture of my tuba before the camera died though. ill be back!! conviently named acrophobia. my lucky green marble i found on the last day of 7th grade.

i got my contacts today. took forever to get them in the first time cuz my mom kept heckling me but the nurse made her go sit in the waiting room. and as soon as she left- my left contact popped in. i cant even feel them. i get a 'special' kinda cuz i have a stigma in my left eye. so these are specially watery...or so they say. i think they r just normal soft contacts. I CAN SEE!!! so cool. i hope some one asks me if im walking around blind 2morrow. just so i can see yes. or ill find my bitchin' sunglasses...infact thats what i will do after i finish this entry. one more thing... started up marching band camp this week. today was the first day. im gonna die when we start using instruments which will prolly be 2morrow. hott guy there. yum. well there are a few. but one specially who talked to me on my first- first day of MB. *sigh* XP XP XP j/p about the sigh thing. ...jonny is being mean to me. OHappiDAY266: i got contacts warhammerbrit124: what OHappiDAY266: mwahahahahah warhammerbrit124: why wouldnt you tell me if i went sumwhere else warhammerbrit124: WHOA warhammerbrit124: i just realized... warhammerbrit124: u warhammerbrit124: with ... warhammerbrit124: no glasses warhammerbrit124: wieerd OHappiDAY266: lol OHappiDAY266: ill look dead sexy OHappiDAY266: :-P warhammerbrit124: yea warhammerbrit124: uh warhammerbrit124: rigth OHappiDAY266: hey thats mean OHappiDAY266: >:o that bastard. but he redeemed himself warhammerbrit124: lol well what was i supposed to say? warhammerbrit124: yeas you look drop dead gorgeous? OHappiDAY266: YES OHappiDAY266: lol warhammerbrit124: lol haha. -out-

so strange. does anyone have those dreams where you know you are dreaming...while you're in it? i had another one of those kinds last night. and when i know im dreaming i stay just to see what happens unless im in trouble. like i was getting ready to be burned to death by a dragon so i told myself to wake up. next time im going to stay just to see what happens. my last dream where i knew it was a dream was really kinda cool. i woke up but not entirely so i was able to get back into the dream. eh. cool. garg. i dont wanna practice tuba. but if i dont wanna die at Marching Band practice next week i should probably do ti. ...that would also include finding my music. o_O i want like 100 bux to blow on CDs. i have like a zillion CDs i want to buy but dont have any money whatsoever. just that Circuit City card my uncle got me. its on 25 bux which is prolly good for 2 or 3 CDs depending on what they are. [i.e. how old, who the artist is, etc] i would seriously get a job or something but my mother told me no. id like go work at some McDonalds or somethin. go stand n wait for the fries to cook. wear long sleeves so the oil doesnt jump up n burn me. that happened a couple of days ago. my mom was cooking plantains and she dropped on in the pain and the butter flew out n landed on my arm. now i have a black mark there. :-( ah well. i got over it. i got pie. ^_^ guess ill go blow my brains out on that god for saken lump of metal they call a tuba. *blows raspberry*

just discovered i really really, really like Breaking Benjamin music. *shrugs* ive gotta gift card- guess ill go get the CDs. [the fact that Ben is pretty cute ads to the effect] also have to get the new 12 Stones CD. is it me or is Paul McCoy getting hotter? o_O eh. seems like im being superficial right? im not really- im serious about loving their music. i think its really good. its just pure coincidence that they happen to be really good looking. just set up my eye appt. im getting contacts finally. took long enough. my mom was trying to convince me to get lasic but i dont really want it. plus i like having the option of wearing my glasses. cuz they are cool as you can see in that picture over there. --redecorated my room for my birthday. it looks so bitchin. its like something straight out of the 70s. rocks me. even my mom loves it. she wants to trade rooms for awhile. haha. dont think so. rented West Side Story finally. took me forever to find it. i absolutely love it and hate it at the same time. spent the whole time yelling out 'you dirty bastard' and 'oh she is going to fucking kill you.' *shrugs* but thats just me. gave me a new goal though. i want to play the part of Anita (yes Anita- not Maria). whether its on Broadway or just something for highschool i dont care. just as long as i get to do it. one of those things to do before i die. *nods* --

hello. i came back a few days ago- just didnt feel up to typing anything. i've been 14 for exactly a week.thats coolio. *nods* yeah thats about all ive got to write. cept that i think some guy likes/liked me during camp...o_O yeah w/e. ill type later i suppose.