Thinking about it, I've never really suceeded in doing anything in my life..And i'm sure it's not gonna start now. What have i done to make you proud of me? Sure i started singing lessons, But i didn't make YOU proud i made him proud...Did i even make him proud!?!..All i was doing was carrying on with HIS dream..It was for him not me, I was pushed too hard, Pushed to far, So i gave up, Like i give up on everything else, I have no will power whatsoever and you know it! You can't fool me, I know you have no faith, I know you think just like i think..FAILURE. I know that, and i hate the thought of that..Yet i still can't do anything about it. I want to make you proud, I honestly do. But what is there for me to do?!? Come away from school with good grades and go to college? That wouldn't make you proud. When your first child done it..That made you proud, But it's old news now, and you expect more from me...Too much sometimes, And i can't give you anymore. Don't tell me i don't love you...I love you more than life itself,I'd die for you, I cry for you, I live my whole life for you. SO don't tell me i don't love you! Has there ever been a day when you look into my eyes and think..Thats my daughter,I'm so proud of her? No because you're not proud and never have been. Never will be, I can't do anything better than them, They done it first they done it better. What you don't understand is..Maybe they aren't opr weren't as bad as me..But what have they had to deal with?...They lost their father for a few years..I've lost my father for life. You know what happened to him...It happened to me, but you don't know that, because you don't pay me any attention, you made me feel like i couldn't trust you with that secret...One person knows it...And only one person, Because i can trust her, I can't trust you, you'll shew it away and make it fake. He lost a baby...He didn't want it..He wasn't 14 and he didn't care for it - But i suppose that's my fault for being Dumb..Gullible..Careless...You still wasn't there for me, You made it about you like you do with everything else..You didn't want me then, you didn't want to know, You always said you'd be there for me no matter what..You wasn't there for me when i needed you the most and for that i will never forgive you! You don't see it when i'm suffering..I thought mums knew everything, You didn't know anything, You don't know anything Or do you?! Do you keep it to yourself.Do you Recollect it then hide it and never speak of it!? Are you afraid, Afraid of what you'll hear..Should that matter? You are my mother You shouold be here when i need you and here when i don't. You should be a mother not a stranger, You should show me love and show you know i love you. ~*~*~*~*~*[I mIsS yOu]~*~*~*~*~